Monday, July 9, 2007

Bubble Gum

Sister (my sister, that is; that's what I call her-Sister) posted a comment here in which she made mention of a strongly held conviction of mine having to do with bubble gum. She ended the comment with a "ha ha"-which I think we can safely assume means the comment is, at best, sarcastic.

So, in fairness to all of you, my loyal, trusting readers, I'd like to briefly explain my moral conviction against chewing bubble gum. Yes, that's right, I said that I am morally opposed to chewing bubble gum. Why, you might ask? Well, let me ask you, constant reader: what is the designated purpose for chewing? God gave us "chewing" as a mechanism for masticating our food-that is, the sole given purpose of chewing is to break down food so that it is digestible.

So, let's apply that chewing action to bubble gum: is it possible to actually break bubble gum down by chewing it? As best I can tell, bubble gum, given normal chewing, has a half-life that would rival that of two tons of weapon grade plutonium! The point? I've never seen gum actually broken down by chewing it; it's simply not possible under normal circumstances.

So, what does this, in turn, imply about someone who chooses to chew bubble gum? If, in fact, God gave us teeth and a jaw in order to chew our food so that it can be broken down, and we choose to apply that activity to something that, by definition, cannot or will not be broken down, then we are intentionally engaging in an activity that, by definition, subverts Gods true purpose for us. We are choosing to engage in something that is, apparently, contrary to Gods plan for our lives.

But, lest you choose not to believe in God, or really couldn't care less about His plan for your life, there's another facet to this. I firmly believe that, if the purpose of chewing is, in fact, to break down food, and you elect to chew something that absolutely will not be broken down, you are, at the outset, accepting failure! That's right; each and every time you pop a stick of gum in your mouth, you are, in effect saying that, I'm going to try my best, given the true purpose of this whole activity, to break you down; but I acknowledge that it'll never happen-I accept the defeat, yet I will still engage in the battle with you.

What must this do to our psyches? How must this terminally damage us? I have a strongly held belief (admittedly, no scientific support, but I'd be extremely interested in seeing any data that you, fellow partakers of this sumptuous fare we so affectionately call MyndFood) that bubble gum chewing (and other similar activities), have contributed largely to the sharp increases in juvenile deliquency, high-school dropouts, and jobless young adults, that we have experienced in recent decades. Think about it: when Mother was young, children weren't allowed to chew gum; in fact, most adults didn't even chew gum (they participated in more sociable, and far less psychologically damaging activities-like smoking). Then, as generations grew more "free"-less restrictive with their children (much of this happened in the 1960's-the hippie era), children were allowed, more often, to chew gum (particularly in their formative years). Further, parents engaged in the activity more often (as persons of particular political bent used their persuasive powers to convince us, as a society, that other, more sociable pastimes-like smoking-were damaging to our health, and we should, rather, engage in more innocuous activities-like gum chewing).

But the unforeseen results of this unfortunate shift in social philosophy have been, in my mind, far more damaging than any ill-effects that might possibly be associated with smoking. I am firmly convinced that chewing gum, and the requisite "mental surrender" that must come along with it, has, slowly and subconsciously, conditioned our minds to accept defeat, has caused our self-value, and belief in ourselves, to slowly erode-until our children feel resigned to failure, and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy that is played out in juvenile courts, and in continuation schools, and in welfare lines everywhere.

So, I choose not to chew gum, not to participate in the degradation of our society. I ask you, what do you think? I encourage you to comment; I look forward to hearing your thoughts!

25 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wow!

PJ said...

Ok. I'm not going to lie to you-Anonymous: that's not the most insightful comment ever-not that I don't appreciate it; I do! Please comment-but give us some meat! Something to work with! I think that, assuming you are the same "Anonymous" that commented on a previous post, you have a bit of a cynical streak! Or, I guess that it's possible that you are just floored by my sound reasoning, and cohesive argument...yeah, that's probably it!

michel russ said...

I'm not the same "anonymous" - seeing as how this was my first time to post a comment. However, I would like to leave you some more "meat" to chew on...how do you like it - Rare, medium or well done? Seriously though, if you stop and think about it, looking at the failure standpoint, there are a lot of things we do each and every day that ultimately end up in failure. When I chew bubble gum, I usually chew it for a temporary burst of taste or for refreshing my breath - not to digest it. So, I don't know, the view you have on this topic seems really odd. Go buy yourself a pack of flavor bursting Bubble Yum and enjoy it - like your children would. It makes for great stress relief. Enjoy the simple things in life - don't try to figure everything out and explain everything away. You're being too hard on yourself. WOW!

Anonymous said...

When you chew gum your heart rate is increased and it helps to increase you IQ and helps you to concentrate better. This is why some people say to chew gum when you are taking a test.

A special kind of gum has nicotine added to it. When people feel the need to smoke they just chew on the gum and it satisfies their craving. This method of stopping smoking helps thousands of people to quit every year.

If you chew gum for a half an hour after eating it prevents heartburn and acid reflux. Chewing gum reduces the amount of acid in the esophagus. "Chewing gum stimulates saliva," explained researcher Dr. Angela Anggiansah, of Kings College in London. She said saliva, which is more alkaline, "neutralizes the remaining acid in the esophagus. That's the whole mechanism."(5)

A supply of gum has been given to the U.S. Army every since World War I to help reduce the soldiers' tension.

This is why I say that bloggers have a hard time being humble for it is all about them and no facts to share, its just palaver, so please go get some gum today.

sincerely y.u.r

Anonymous said...

The History of Chewing Gum and Bubble Gum

Timeline
• The ancient Greeks chewed mastiche - a chewing gum made from the resin of the mastic tree.
• The ancient Mayans chewed chicle which is the sap from the sapodilla tree.
• North American Indians chewed the sap from spruce trees and passed the habit along to the settlers.
• Early American settlers made a chewing gum from spruce sap and beeswax.
• In 1848, John B. Curtis made and sold the first commercial chewing gum called the State of Maine Pure Spruce Gum.
• In 1850, Curtis started selling flavored paraffin gums becoming more popular than spruce gums.
• On December 28 1869, William Finley Semple became the first person to patent a chewing gum - U.S patent #98,304.
• In 1869, Antonio Lopez de Santa Anna introduced Thomas Adams to chicle.
• In 1871, Thomas Adams patented a machine for the manufacture of gum.
• In 1880, John Colgan invented a way to make chewing gum taste better for a longer period of time while being chewed.
• By 1888, an Adams' chewing gum called Tutti-Frutti became the first chew to be sold in a vending machine.

• The machines were located in a New York City subway station.
• In 1899, Dentyne gum was created by New York druggist Franklin V. Canning.
• In 1906, Frank Fleer invented the first bubble gum called Blibber-Blubber gum. However, the bubble blowing chew was never sold.
• In 1914, Wrigley Doublemint brand was created. William Wrigley, Jr. and Henry Fleer were responsible for adding the popular mint and fruit extracts to a chicle chewing gum.
• In 1928, an employee of the Frank H. Fleer Company, Walter Diemer invented the successful pink colored Double Bubble, bubble gum. The very first bubble gum was invented by Frank Henry Fleer in 1906. He called it Blibber-Blubber. Fleer's recipe was later perfected by Walter Diemer, who called his product Double Bubble.

Anonymous said...

The Health Benefits of Gum
There are a number of health benefits of chewing gum. Some of them are increasing your IQ, preventing tooth decay and freshening your breath, it also reduces tension, helps you to concentrate, helps people to quit smoking, and it prevents acid reflux and heartburn.
When you chew gum, the saliva flow in your mouth is increased because your brain thinks that your are eating something. The extra saliva in your mouth cleans the plaque off of your teeth. The plaque on your tongue and mouth are part of the reason that you get bad breath. The extra saliva in your mouth also keeps the plaque off of your tongue, freshening your breath for a short amount of time.

Dr. Angela Anggiansah of Kings College, London

PJ said...

I'll respond in a post later, but let me say that, saying that the point of chewing gum is "enjoyment" or "cleaning the plaque from our teeth" is like saying that the point of eating is enjoyment! Simply not true! Enjoyment may be a positive side effect of eating, but we eat to be nourished. And, we chew to break down food. Now, if you are willing to trade the long-term psychological damage-regardless how minute it might be-associated with chewing gum for the momentary enjoyment, that's obviously your choice. As for me, I don't think so.

Deanna Eccles said...

Wow I had not idea that this was going to be such a heated topic. My suggestion to dicuss it was only teasing my brother. I had no clue so many would respond. But I feel that since I made the suggestion I should make a comment. Personally I don't chew gum on a regular basis. As previous post said I do agree that gum is great for freshening breath. As for the history of gum, gum being a stress reliever, gum increasing or decreasing your IQ, gum preventing tooth decay I am not sure. So In my case you can look at it from both view points A: I don't chew gum enough therefore that is why I'm not intelligent. B: the little bit I do chew it, has destroyed so many brain cells and thats why I'm not intelligent.

PJ said...

I am proud to say that, that profound commenter, deanna eccles, is Sister. Very insightful comments Sister! I'm impressed (and even humbled, anonymous)!

Anonymous said...

To all

This is my last replay on bubble gum, and I will say it in a poem I
wrote. Be careful what you think you know for it's better to eat bubble gum then crow.

Take care,

Y.U.R

Anonymous said...

The last comment from Y.U.R. - maybe he should give writing a try - that was a rather catchy phrase, don't you think?

One Who Knows said...

PJ, I can not believe you actually believe this. This bubble gum Paradigm of yours has me flabbergasted. I honestly can't fathom the depths of the evils of chewing bubble gum. I can't help it is so addictive. Even now just thinking about is making my mouth and jaw long to chew it. Maybe you should post another blog on the addictiveness of it and the annoying habit that those of us that partake of this particular evil have about smacking it and blowing bubbles. But I must tell you all. I witnessed his daughter chewing bubble gum with mine own eyes. Yes this man who speaks about the evils of bubble gum. Daughter was partaking of this forbidden fruit if you will.

deanna eccles said...

Wow who is this person who is oh so bold to speak his mind but oh so afraid to show their identity. don't be ashamed of your comments. Isn't that what blogging is all about. commenting with our opinion. If I have a opinion about a subject (which by the way I feel bubble gum chewing is totally a personal preference) I fully intend to comment on the subject but pj will not have to wonder who I am. Whether I am with him or against him he will know its me. (but again my own perasonal opinion) so no hard feelings "one who knows" if you know my niece I probably know you. just stating my feelings.

One Who Knows said...

of course no hard feeling deanna. I find it is much easier to comment and speak my mind by using a pseudonym. I feel I can truly be myself when they don't know who I am. But I'll give you 4 clues that I think you can figure out who I am. Without PJ figuring it out. You've known me forever. When I was little I used to call you Nan because I couldn't pronounce deanna. I'm not realted to you. And you defended me when Misti Small was bossing me around about the drum set during that christmas play we were all in.
As to my post it was a joke. Because this whole post is a joke is it not? PJ can't really be serious about this can he? I've known him as long as I've known you and I've never heard mention of this until the last couple of weeks. If its not a joke then I'm sorry if my post offended you PJ.

deanna eccles said...

To the one who knows Ok actually I'm really not sure maybe a few more hints. And no I'm not offended as I said I don't really have a preference as to if we should gum or not. but pj really does. What I did gather from your hints is that your around my age, were around many years ago, and are still around kerman enough to know my niece. but to tell the truth not many around then are still around so I'm kind of stuck.

One Who Knows said...

Alright I told your brother who I was tonight. Its Elden.

PJ said...

How nice! I feel all warm and fuzzy! Lil ol' me, and my simple blog-renewing long distance friendships! I'm touched!

Ok! Enough of that! So-"one who knows" gotta say-I might have conveyed it in a humorous manner, but I'll tell you: I actually AM philosophically opposed to gum chewing. I almost NEVER chew gum-because it actually does gall me! So-I apologize if I made it out to be a joke; I definitely intended the post to be humorous-but to the point where it was no longer believable!

And-Nan: you're welcome in advance for my reconnecting you and your secret...what do you call it?...blog-buddy?

Love you all! Come back, ok?

deanna eccles said...

Ok guys enough already,no more ooey, gooey, stuff. Let's get back to the more important matters at hand. Like....um......lets see...what can we discuss....well can't think now, brains fried. So for now I think I'll go comment on the most recent post. I can't believe these people so rudely criticizing my bros writing.

Katie Booker said...

I absolutley love this post!!! I CANNOT STAND bubble gum..I can't stand to watch people chew it, I can't stand to chew it myself and my children are not allowed to chew it.
If you really think about it, try to imagine what it looks like when you chew gum...a cow chewing his cud! Most people have about as much manners as said cow! If you need fresh breath..suck on a mint! ( My personal favorite.. chocolate covered cinnamon altoids.) If you want a burst of flavor...do the same! Lets BAN gum forever!!! lol

lexx said...

well, i understand you point of opinion on this "gum" idea.But,when you say that chewing gum has amounted to higher rates of kids droping out of school and child delinquency,and how many adults when they were youngere didnt know how to chew gum so they smoked?? i doubt that. and i can tel you that the rate of americans that chew gum and the amount of people that chew gum differ alot! there's not that many people that smoke that we think do. and there are deffinatly more gum chewers that smokers. chewing gum has been shown to help digest food, help you remember more when taking a test,and many other more infinite possibilities. what would you say to the people who smoke and rely on the medicated chewing gum to help quit the habbit? and its shown that chewing gum burns 11 calories a day!im sorry when i heard your opinion on this subject, i was alarmed of how someone could take not chewing gum to a level of hatred for really no reason.

cheshire cat said...

i use to smoke, thanks to wrigley's extra chewing gum i havent smoked in a year. i think prevention of lung cancer is a pretty good purpose.

sjwinchester said...

Oook. So, right now, I am chewing gum. It is Jila sugar free peppermint flavored gum that my family accidentally board instead of breath mints. I am chewing it because it is helping me not eat because I'm bored. When I'm bored, I eat. When I chew, I have something to do with my mouth that stops me from eating, biting my nails, chewing my lip and biting the inside of my cheek. I need stimulation in my mouth, and today, I need it because I'm gonna eat somethin' I don't need to eat. I can tell, because I do it all the time, then wonder why I'm so unfit. I hardly ever chew gum, but I do have to make a face at your post. In my mind, it makes no sense. I'm not trying to be mean or show that I do not respect your opinion, but that's just crazy. lol

Jennifer said...

as for the god argument, ignoring the rest for a bit, do you use birth control? because the purpose of sex is to create babies. if it's wrong to chew gum because it can't be broken down, it follows that it's wrong to use birth control while having sex because you can't make babies.

of course, someone who agreed with the god portion of the argument probably agrees that birth control is a sin, too...

as for the part about accepting failure, aren't you accepting failure by living? eventually you'll die. but living is more fun and flavorful than not-living (again, assuming a non-belief in a christian god). eventually, i'll spit out this piece of gum. but for now, it's more flavorful and fun than not-chewing.

Expes Puella said...

If we understand and accept that gum was in fact NOT purposed to be destroyed, I think the possibility of ill effect on our psyche can easily be rendered moot. It's a modern day and age for jaws.

(This does not, however, answer the apparent and unaddressed symptoms of OCD portrayed in this extensive blog about...well...gum) :)

Mala said...

hey just fyi gum can be broken down by saliva- i once fell asleep with a wad of chewed gum in my mouth and awoke to find a slimy liquidy mess- not pleasant but still shows it can be disintergrated