Monday, September 29, 2008


A telling video...sent to me by my good friend Doug.

Friday, September 12, 2008

A Few Useful Definitions

mo·ron -noun

the stupid idiots who just broke into my car (sitting quietly in my driveway), stole a worthless briefcase with 300 or so sheets of boring paper (mostly doodles of scarecrows and Neptune from various meetings at work...don't ask), bungled around with my stereo (it's still there, but I don't think it's going to be playing CD's anytime soon), and left my debit card sitting in the center console.

neigh·bor·ly -adjective

the guy from down the street who had a midnight hankering for a cigarette (shame on him; yay for me), stepped out into his front yard, and saw moron (see above), legs sticking through the broken rear window, wrestling with the car stereo. After running in to grab his keys, he drove down the street in an attempt to grab the moron(s). Unfortunately, they were (surprise) sharp enough to realize that this would not be advantageous to their budding criminal careers, so they grabbed my (worthless) briefcase, jumped into their waiting getaway car (a small white SUV; foreign--Honda or Toyota. If you see one, drop me an email), and took off. He (the neighbor; not the moron) rang my doorbell, which scared the living patooey out of me (it was midnight), and told me all about it. Good guy, that neighbor.

sleep·less -adjective

my house, tonight. I have my rifle--replete with sniper scope--out; I'm dressed out in soldier of fortune camo, and am camping out on my garage roof. If those varmints return, I'm gonna be ready.

It doesn't help that I've got an early morning meeting an hour away tomorrow. I've got to make the drive minus one window, and without any music, a book on CD--anything.

They police came out and snooped around a bit. They had a crime scene tech come out and take some fingerprints. I'm a little concerned because the only prints they got were from the inside of the rear passenger window--right where my kids sit. I just know that poor Lex and Gentry are going to go into some criminal database somewhere; I hope they never decide they want a career in national security. They're doomed.

SheGazelle: I guess this counts as a visit from Murphy, huh?