Sunday, June 1, 2008

Energy Rush

Energy drinks aren't all, I've concluded, that they're cracked up to be. I've recently taken to drinking the overpriced, addictive things. Someone told me I was drinking too much soda, that it was unhealthy, so I started supplementing my soda intake with them. They've got to be healthier, I figured: they're chock full of taurine and guanine and many other natural (and, thus, healthy) ingredients.

They've had an interesting affect on me. I don't rush out and mow the grass, while washing the car and changing the oil (all in record breaking time). In fact, they make me tired.

But they kick in when I fall asleep. My energy drink fueled sleep is packed full of wildly energetic dreams. Yesterday we were working around the house (primarily physical type labor--which I'm not particularly good at or fond of), and I, being a non-physical labor type guy, tired quickly, so I popped a nice cold energy drink and chugged it. It wore me out, so I grabbed another. By the time I was done with the second drink, I was falling asleep at the kitchen counter.

So I called it a night and went to sleep. By the time my eyes closed, I was already dreaming. I dreamed, first, of me singing--wildly and energetically--just as a guy hopped up on Rockstar's would.

Then I dreamed of me jogging in a park, tennis shoes and sweat-stained t-shirt testaments to the fact that the energy drink was doing it's job. Apparently, though, the karaoke set and the jog through the park didn't flush the Red Bull from my bloodstream, because then I went to the gym, hopped on the elliptical and then spent some time on the weight machine (hefting over 200 lbs, which puts the whole experience smack in the middle of the surreal, because me lifting anything over about 90 lbs doesn't currently exist in this reality). I closed out the night with about 20 laps in the swimming pool.

I woke up exhausted. Those energy drinks do that to you--give you a false rush, and then you dive bomb after you've expended all that phony adrenaline.

Terrible things. I wake up, almost relieved to be awake, but have to ingest another of the dreaded drinks just to keep myself awake. What is it, do you think? Is it possible that the drinks get your adrenaline moving, and the adrenaline rush keeps your mind going all night? It's just so bizarre that the drinks don't really seem to give me any real energy, but the me of my dreams gets so much of a rush from the things that I can't get any rest while I'm asleep.

An interesting paradox, isn't it?


Anonymous said...

Lifting the bar would seem difficult. But at least you can dream about it, some people can't even dream big like that. I think you need to lay off those false impressions of energy drinks, and just stick with those sodas. You are wearing me out just talking about your dreams.
Thanks for the warning on the energy drinks.

Anonymous said...

Now I understand how your Dad can drink one of those nasty things on the way to Sunday School, sleep thru the Service, drive home take a two hour nap and still say how tired he is. I am going to ask him what he does in his dreams. I guess I need to stop poking him with my elbow during service.
Love Mother