Tuesday, November 13, 2007

My Gift to Alexis and Gentry

NewScientist.com reported this week that curvier women have been scientifically shown to give birth to intellectually superior children.

Apparently, their research has shown that hip fat contains polyunsaturated fatty acids, which contribute greatly to the development of the fetus' brain. They found that children's scores on cognition tests are correlated to their mothers hip-to-waist ration, an indicator of the amount of fat stored on the hips.

I'm digging around here, but I can't seem to find any photographs of Mother, pre-PJ, so I can't say for certain whether or not I'm intelligent. I certainly hope that I am.

On that note, though; my personal research has proven that there CAN be exception, in that Shawna has NEVER had an ounce of extra fat on her hips (or anywhere else for that matter; it's frustrating, I ain't gonna lie to ya). But our children are both still extremely intelligent.

I contemplated this phenomenon for quite a while this evening, and I think I've figured it out.

Those of you who know me know that, during the time Shawna was pregnant with both Lex and Gentry, I was...obese-NO; fat-uh uh; robust-umm...; large-weeell; fluffy-YES! Shawna, on the other hand, was perpetually slim and svelte, despite our unborn children's best efforts to nearly break all known birth-weight records (well, not quite; but they WERE relatively large!). Now, though, I'm a bit slimmer. I now realize that there was a divine purpose in it! I, personally (by virtue of the polyunsaturated fatty acids I stored in my hips-as well as my stomach, butt and face), contributed to the high intelligence of both my children!

I'm quite proud!

I'm sure glad God made me fat! Gave me something to pass on to future generations!


Anonymous said...

My kids are destined to be the MOST INTELLIGENT! Wow- I guess all this fluff was good for something huh? lol!

Anonymous said...

Well since you can not find a picture of me before "you" I will tell you. Yes you are VERY INTELLIGENT" if it has anything to do with my hip measurments. In fact you and your sister are most likely the Most intelligent people in the world. I need to tell my Dad that those "big hips" paid off. Just think how intelligent a "Late in life" baby would be if your dad and I had another child. HAHA. God forbid.
Love Mother

Anonymous said...

Oh, my dear Lord! yes God, PLEASE FORBID!

Doofus said...

My kids are just weird.

Quite frankly, I can't see why.

Peace out.


PJ said...

I'm humbled folks. Do you realize that (despite the goofy looking picture), we have been, for a brief moment, in the presence of one of the great musical minds of our time?

Yes, that's right: Mr. Giesecke above just happens to be one of the most incredible guitarists alive (a pretty good vocalist too...).

...as to why his kids are weird: you might find the answer were you to take a virtual stroll on over to http://www.ninetyandnine.com/notes/ the best music blog on the Net. Scroll down a bit to a post from Sunday, October 21, 2007. It's an interview of Mr. Giesecke...by his 3rd grade picture (Mr. Doofus)...yeah, I think you get the point.

It's a great read one way or the other...

Thanks for stopping by! Come again...please!