The Sweet (Pungent) Smell of Victory!

I've finally done it folks!

Today, I am a king! Today, I soar with eagles, a master, a recognized authority. And I am happy.

I received an email today from the Universal Record Database notifying me that I am the new certified URDB record holder for "Most American Quarters in the Nose"!

I'm so excited, I'm giddy!

The email said, in part:

On behalf of the entire Universal Record Database team, I'd like to offer my heartiest congratulations. We think your fitting quarters inside the nose abilities are tremendous.

You realize that this legitimizes what I've always known: I truly am great--the greatest in the world, in fact--at something!

I encourage you to visit my page at the URDB site. It's a shrine of sorts, a virtual museum dedicated to my momentous feat. And it's awe-inspiring (if I must say so myself). When I first visited it, I found myself sitting in quiet contemplation for a few moments, marveling at the awesomeness of this truly incredible feat.

I have to say that I do feel different now that I'm a celebrity. I recognize that I have an obligation to society--to do all I can to end world hunger, to ensure children have books to read, and to help ensure stray dogs are spayed or neutered. And I want to assure you that I won't forget where I came from: I won't allow myself to lose perspective; I want to stay grounded and in touch with my roots. I could never have achieved this without each of you, and I won't forget you.

Thank you once again for your continued support! Never forget: you can do anything you put your mind to! If I can do it, so can you!

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