Tuesday, February 10, 2009

You Complete Me

There's this notion in business (called complexity theory) that basically says, in a functioning group of two or more people, the whole is greater than the sum of the parts.

It's true. I'm better--in all aspects of my life--for having Shawna as my partner. She enhances the parts of me that are good, supplements the parts that are weak, and takes up the slack for the parts that are nonexistent.

There was this song that Shawna used to listen to when we were dating (she had the CD on perpetual repeat, I think). It was a country song that says, "I'm everything I am because you loved me." I know they're lyrics to a song, and to a degree, kinda sappy, but as Day 2 of the week long Valentine, I wanted to express to Shawna that she's that partner for me. She's the one who takes me from what I am on my own to realizing my full potential.

Do you know how amazing it is to have someone like that in your life?

Think about it. Ask yourself this question: does the one I'm with ADD something to what I am, or do they DETRACT from what I am? There's an adage that's sometimes used in expressions of love: you complete me. There's also a polar opposite, though: you DEPLETE me. Does the one you love complete you, or do they leave you even less of a person than when you started?

It's a measure of true love, I think. I can honestly say, with all my heart, that Shawna completes me. I look forward to being with her, because I'm full when I'm with her. And it inspires me to more actively work toward being the one who completes her.

And for you few faithful readers: one final question. Do you complete the one you are with, or do you deplete them? Sometimes we're frustrated that the one we love isn't quite what they should be. Could it be that they can only be that with you actively working to complete them? That the part that's missing is directly linked to what you detract from the relationship? It happens; I promise you. I've been that one who was depleting in the relationship. Take this as an encouragement: examine your relationship; ask yourself do I complete my mate, or deplete them? And if I am depleting, is it causing the one I love to pull back?

And if you find you're depleting, then just work to change it. It's not that hard--I promise. Love is not very hard when it's active. When you are looking, actively, to express your love, it's very easy to add to the relationship--to complete the one you love. Passivity in love is the enemy of healthy relationships.

And so, I say all that to say this: I love you Shawna. You really do complete me. I can only be what I should be with you there, adding yourself to the mix.

Thank you for being my partner.



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