I don't usually get too personal here; it has just never seemed the right venue to spout off too much about my life. The way I see it, if you're important to me, you know what's going on in my life. If you have to visit my blog to find out about it, you're probably not important to me.
That's not intended to be rude. Frankly, the way I see it, most folks in the universe really couldn't care less about what's going on in my life, and for me to post it on the random chance that someone who really cares might stumble upon it is a waste of my time, and a waste of cyber-real estate.
Nevertheless, if you ARE important to me, and you DO care about what's going on in my life, I'm glad to chat with you about it--I'll get you all up-to-date; just give me a call!
...boy, that was starting to turn into a ramble wasn't it?
BUT, this week, as you know, is Valentine's Day--a day set aside for us to show that special someone--the one we love--how much they mean. And I thought, what better way to show The One in my life how much I adore her than by writing about her! I'll spend my time doing something I love, writing about someone I love!
At any rate, I know it's not Valentine's Day yet, but I started thinking: this May will be TEN YEARS of marriage for Shawna and me! Yep! Ten years!
Can you believe it?
But I realized something recently: after ten years of being with someone, the thought of being WITHOUT them is as scary as the thought of losing a limb. That whole, "...two become one...what God hath joined together" thing; it's really accurate. I had this realization that she is a part of me. Time without her is not quite complete.
It's always been like that though; business travel just depresses me to death (you know that, though; I've written about it here) because it feels like only half of me is there. But time really has a way of cementing that bond.
That's not really what I wanted to say, though. I was thinking: I'd like to make this Valentine's Day memorable for her. It'll be our ninth as man and wife; our eleventh as two people in love with each other. It's OK if I wax a little sappy, though, isn't it?
No matter. If you don't like sappy, come back next week when I'm writing about boring inconsequential stuff again (like Obama and the ridiculous stimulus package).
Today though, and the rest of the week, I'm just gonna let it all hang out--straight up sappy!
And tell Shawna, in front of the whole world (or, at least the tiny fraction of the world that happens to stumble upon MyndFood) that she's still "That One" for me. I can honestly say that she's shown me what true, unending love is. It's something deeper than (sorry Mother and Dad) a parent's love; even deeper than Lex and Gentry's unwavering love.
It's a love that says, "I choose you. Even when it's not rosy and fun, I still choose you. And I love you--until it hurts; I love you."
See, Mother and Dad didn't choose me; I landed on their doorstep, and so they love me. I'm glad for it, but there's a bond there that's not really a choice; it's built into their nature. And Lex and Gentry landed on MY doorstep; they had no choice in the matter. The love that they express is undying, but it's the result of a paternal bond that is virtually impossible to break.
But Shawna: she chose me. Which means that she can un-choose me anytime. But she doesn't. In fact, she re-affirms that choice every single day.
So, here's Day 1 of my public written Valentine to my wife:
Thank you for loving me. I don't deserve you. And I'm amazed every day that you choose to love me. Your love completes me--it's what keeps me alive. I love you deeply--with every ounce of my being.
Thank you for nearly 10 years of marriage, and 11 years of unending love.
With All My Love, Your Husband, Partner and Friend,