Friday, October 26, 2007

To Clear the Air:

First, I want to make it abundantly clear that I was NEVER ashamed of my little sister. I loved my sister to death; for numerous reasons, not the least of which being that, as I was a sissy, she beat up anyone who messed with me (no lie).

The story about her actually being my orphaned cousin was simply an elaborate practical joke (that happened to play out just a little too well). In truth, I forgot that I'd told everyone that, otherwise I'd have cleared it up far earlier. It sure was funny though.

My hair, despite being hard, was actually quite attractive.

Katie's hair, because it was so large, precluded her from entering rooms that did not have double doors.

No matter what Katie and shegazelle say, I'll not believe that "that girl" only dated me because they paid her to. I'm not certain they even know who I'm talking about...

The long-time secret crush...don't get so excited Katie; I hate to tell you, but it wasn't you. I'm curious though, now that we're here: can you guys guess?

The Junior yearbook: well, the things "that girl" wrote were nice with respect to me (but kind of embarrassing; she apparently wrote them AFTER Katie got to her with her wads of cash); they WEREN'T so flattering to Katie (and a few of her gang), as I recall. I'd have to find the book to know for certain, and God only knows where it's at. I'll certainly look.

And, despite her protestations, shegazelle was VERY cool! She (and a few of her followers), as I recall, were SO cool, they opted to carry paint cans as purses to a convention one year. Only a supremely cool person could pull that off! All kidding aside, she served as a chaperon a few times (when I was dating, for an o-so-brief period, one of her friends), and I'll tell you, she (and 'Nay) made the dates! Probably why the friend decided she didn't like dating me anymore!

Mother insists I tell you all that she DID NOT force me to wear those embarrassingly unattractive camouflage, elastic, flyless pants until I was twelve. She's certain I wasn't any older than 10 1/2 when I quit wearing them. I asked her why I finally did quit wearing them. She said because I got tired of other boys laughing at my Scooby Doo briefs when I had to pull the flyless pants down in order to use the restroom. I wonder what's wrong with Scooby Doo briefs (aside from the fact that, despite NUMEROUS letters to the manufacturer, they still adamantly refuse to manufacture them in waist sizes greater than 30. I so miss them)?

Finally, this blog is meant to be mental nourishment. Much of the junk I've posted here in the last week is just that: junk; not nourishing in the least. Nevertheless, you folks seem to eat it up (just goes to show, you don't really know what fine food tastes like). SO, instead of completing and posting the second installment of the Democratic Writing story this week, I'll tell part of the "When PJ Met Shawna" story. Fair?


Anonymous said...

I beg to differ PJ. Strolls down memory lane aren't junk. They serve to refresh and invigorate our minds. To remember the good times and even the bad. Lightens the soul I guess you could say. Like remembering the good times you spent with family and friends that have passed on. In my opinion memories are the Truffles and Beluga Caviar of fine myndfood. Of course we can't dine soley on memories that wouldn't be nourishing at all. But it is fun to splurge once and awhile.

SheGazelle said...

I'll have you know I alone carried my paint can purse. Though my cousin was so ashamed of me at that convention she made me put my can in the bottom of her child's stroller to hide it.
Amen, eb. The walks down memory lane are great.
And oh yes- we're waiting for "When PJ met Shawna" like an old lady waits for "Days of our Lives"! :-D In fact, maybe we all could share stories like this...

Anonymous said...

Awww.. Thanks PJ I feel much better=) HaHa! I remember those paint cans, didn't they have to carry a screwdriver with them just so they could open them? lol Although I think I kinda know most of the story on "When PJ met Shawna" sounds cool! can't wait to hear! BTW if you guys don't have plans for Thanksgiving you should mosey on out to SUNNY AZ. with Mom and Dad=) Love ya guys!

Katie Booker said...

I can almost BET I do know who the girl is that was "Paid"! Especially with you saying she didn't have much nice to say about myself and my "followers"!

AFA the secret crush...I'm relieved to know it wasn't me. I would have hated to break your heart and tell you I really couldn't imagine being in your presence. LOL. But I'm not really quite sure who it could have been. I do have a couple of guesses..but I'm not sure if you truly want names published on here for all to read.

Yes please do tell the "When PJ met Shawna" story soon. And I agree with Shegazelle...we all need to do our own little stories on our own blogs.