First, I want to make it abundantly clear that I was NEVER ashamed of my little sister. I loved my sister to death; for numerous reasons, not the least of which being that, as I was a sissy, she beat up anyone who messed with me (no lie).
The story about her actually being my orphaned cousin was simply an elaborate practical joke (that happened to play out just a little too well). In truth, I forgot that I'd told everyone that, otherwise I'd have cleared it up far earlier. It sure was funny though.
My hair, despite being hard, was actually quite attractive.
Katie's hair, because it was so large, precluded her from entering rooms that did not have double doors.
No matter what Katie and shegazelle say, I'll not believe that "that girl" only dated me because they paid her to. I'm not certain they even know who I'm talking about...
The long-time secret crush...don't get so excited Katie; I hate to tell you, but it wasn't you. I'm curious though, now that we're here: can you guys guess?
The Junior yearbook: well, the things "that girl" wrote were nice with respect to me (but kind of embarrassing; she apparently wrote them AFTER Katie got to her with her wads of cash); they WEREN'T so flattering to Katie (and a few of her gang), as I recall. I'd have to find the book to know for certain, and God only knows where it's at. I'll certainly look.
And, despite her protestations, shegazelle was VERY cool! She (and a few of her followers), as I recall, were SO cool, they opted to carry paint cans as purses to a convention one year. Only a supremely cool person could pull that off! All kidding aside, she served as a chaperon a few times (when I was dating, for an o-so-brief period, one of her friends), and I'll tell you, she (and 'Nay) made the dates! Probably why the friend decided she didn't like dating me anymore!
Mother insists I tell you all that she DID NOT force me to wear those embarrassingly unattractive camouflage, elastic, flyless pants until I was twelve. She's certain I wasn't any older than 10 1/2 when I quit wearing them. I asked her why I finally did quit wearing them. She said because I got tired of other boys laughing at my Scooby Doo briefs when I had to pull the flyless pants down in order to use the restroom. I wonder what's wrong with Scooby Doo briefs (aside from the fact that, despite NUMEROUS letters to the manufacturer, they still adamantly refuse to manufacture them in waist sizes greater than 30. I so miss them)?
Finally, this blog is meant to be mental nourishment. Much of the junk I've posted here in the last week is just that: junk; not nourishing in the least. Nevertheless, you folks seem to eat it up (just goes to show, you don't really know what fine food tastes like). SO, instead of completing and posting the second installment of the Democratic Writing story this week, I'll tell part of the "When PJ Met Shawna" story. Fair?