A Sad Travesty

Lori Drew was indicted yesterday by a federal grand jury in Los Angeles for her part in the tragic 2006 suicide of 13 year-old Megan Meier in O'Fallon, Missouri.

Ms. Drew is alleged to have created a false MySpace account, in the name of Josh Evans, a 16 year-old who, over a number of weeks forged a virtual relationship with Meier using the popular social networking site. Josh then, suddenly, dumped Megan one fateful October day, posting messages on the MySpace site disparaging Megan's friendship and even stating in one that "the world would be a better place" without Megan.

Megan, her heart broken by this boy whom she had never set eyes on, and whose voice she'd never heard, went to her bedroom and hung herself in her closet.

Some time later it was discovered that Ms. Drew, who lived just down the street from the Meier family, had created Josh's profile, and communicated with Megan as Josh in order to "get her back" for her having mistreated Ms. Drew's daughter (one of Megan's classmates).

Missouri officials investigated the matter and, while they found Ms. Drew's actions reprehensible and morally repugnant, could not find that she'd broken any laws. The Los Angeles based federal grand jury felt otherwise. According to the indictment (handed down in Los Angeles since MySpace happens to be based in California which makes any crime committed in Missouri a crime committed while engaged in interstate commerce), Ms. Meier is charged with one count of conspiracy and three counts of accessing a computer without authorization and via interstate commerce to obtain information to inflict emotional distress. Each count carries a maximum penalty of five years in prison.

The indictment is based, loosely, on Ms. Drew's alleged breach of the MySpace Terms of Service (which you agree to abide by when you check that little box below all the boring verbiage that nobody reads). Apparently their Terms of Service (TOS) state, in part, that the following uses are strictly prohibited:

impersonating or attempting to impersonate another Member, person or entity;

using any information obtained from the MySpace Services in order to harass, abuse, or harm another person or entity, or attempting to do the same;

using any information obtained from the MySpace Services in order to harass, abuse, or harm another person or entity, or attempting to do the same;

Ms. Drew, in creating a false profile, impersonating Josh Evans and harassing Lori using Josh's profile, breached an implicit contract with MySpace. In more normal times, and under less emotionally charged circumstances, Ms. Drew would, at best, be banned from using MySpace (in that she breached their terms of service). Instead, in this case, she's indicted for conspiracy and for using a computer (without permission, and during interstate commerce) to inflict emotional distress on another. And she faces up to twenty years in prison for it.

What does that mean--using a computer during interstate commerce to inflict emotional distress on others?

The truth of the matter is, her "crime" is only really a crime because Megan committed suicide. As I've said before, had Megan simply shrugged it off, and went on with life, Lori Drew would never have seen the inside of a courtroom; you and I wouldn't be having heated discussions about "cyberbullying"; MySpace likely wouldn't have even cared. Because the truth is, this same story has probably happened hundreds of times all over the nation, just with a slightly different ending. And those stories never get told, for no other reason than that the outcome is far less tragic (hurt feelings and a sense of betrayal instead of dead, heartbroken thirteen year-olds). Lori Drew is only on trial because of Megan's REACTION to Lori's mean spirited actions on MySpace.

Which is interesting because, as I've said before, It's just as possible that I'd gone home and done something drastic as a young boy in response to some kids who called me Picker because I picked my nose in class, and made fun of me for wearing flyless, elastic waisted camouflage pants to junior high. And, had I done something drastic, would those boys have faced indictment? Not likely. They would have been lightly chastised. But no more; because they aren't responsible for my reaction to their bullying and pestering, no matter how cruel or mean spirited. Neither is Lori Drew responsible for Megan Meier's suicide.

My PARENTS, on the other hand, would have, I hope, faced some severe scrutiny had I gone home from school and hung myself because of my cruel classmate's taunts. Because (as unpopular as this opinion might be), far more blame rests at their feet than at Ms. Drew's. What must be missing from a thirteen year-old's life that would cause her to place such extreme value in a virtual relationship (a relationship of no real substance whatsoever)?

Imagine with me, for a moment, feeling so unfulfilled in your relationships with family and friends that you reach out so strongly to some invisible, intangible boy out in cyberspace, and you place so much of your self-worth in his opinion of you that, when it degrades, you feel life is no longer worth living. Does that speak of a wholesome home life? I don't mean to blame Megan's suicide on her parents; she made choice all on her own. But I do say that if we're looking for places to cast blame, let's evaluate instead what must have been broken in Megan to cause her to act so irrationally.

Those broken pieces certainly were most assuredly not caused by Lori Drew. And to indict her for "crimes" as far fetched and as grossly unrelated as these serves no real purpose other than to assuage guilty consciences.

It's a sad travesty of justice.

Attempted...Tormenting?

I can't get past this Lori Drew story. I jumped on the Net tonight, and did a few quick searches, and it appears as though I'm not the only one.

The search popped up a whole variety of hits. Bloggers and newssites alike are working the story to death. Partially, I'm sure, because it has legs; it's a dramatic story, and it keeps readers engaged. But it's more than that, I think. Look at the enlightened comments on my prior posts about Megan Meier's suicide, and then about Lori Drew's impending indictment. People care.

A scroll through the search results begins to paint a pretty clear picture of the overall public sentiment surrounding the story.

"Lori Drew has never apologied for what she did to Megan or the Meier's family..." says one blog. "...will continiue (sic) to follow this story of the evil Lori Drew and the sad case of Megan Meier..." said another. "Megan Meier was an innocent 13 year-old, is complete scum," and "Lori Drew bullied Megan Meier to death," round out the overwhelming sentiment of the group. One blogger even went so far as to post the home address, full names, and telephone numbers, of the Drew family in a particularly angry post.

There were few dissenters. One blogger lashed out at the media, and said that "although Lori Drew has not yet been charged in the case of Megan Meier, the media has never required formal charges to be filed before running a story." Perhaps they're right. I, fortunately though, am not part of the "media" and, thus, don't operate under those same constraints. My job here is to wrap the "news" or other relevent thoughts and concepts up in a nicely packaged, logical analysis. I'm SUPPOSED to add my flavor; it's why you come here.

So allow me to.

I posted a poll up in the top right-hand corner, asking whether Lori Drew should face charges for her part in this whole saga. A few of you have voted; those who haven't, please do. The vast majority of you feel much like the Internet population that I quoted above: she deserves to be harshly punished.

The more I think about it, the less I agree. Let me ask you a question: remember a few months ago, I posted about my years in elementary school? I talked about how decidedly "uncool" I was. And I told about my utter lack of friends (except for when it came to group projects).

I wrote, in that post, about a few of the popular guys in school, and how they christened me, to my utter horror, "Picker" after seeing me pick my nose at school one day.

I cried when they first called me that--laid my head down on my desk as though I were tired and needed to rest my eyes, and cried softly. I was so ashamed.

Let me ask you then: should those pitiful guys be punished for calling me "Picker"? I can tell you, at the time, it was traumatizing. There were days when I didn't want to go to school. Yet, it's foolhardy to think we might prosecute those two for calling me "Picker."

What if, on the other hand, I'd done as Megan did and, in a fit of suicidal depression over my HORRIFIC nickname, hung myself? You'd probably be more inclined to punish those two guys, wouldn't you?

That's the rub, you see? Had I opted to go that route, would my two witty friends be responsible for my death? I think not.

Consider this analogy: assume an individual took a pistol to work, walked into the office, and shot a coworker, killing her. The shooter would be arrested, indicted and likely convicted of murder, correct? Now, assume that, as the shooter walked in, he aimed at the coworker, and began to squeeze the trigger, and just as the hammer fell, the coworker bent to tie her shoe, and the bullet sailed harmlessly over her head, as two other coworkers attacked the shooter, pinned him to the ground, and waited for the authorities. The shooter would be charged--perhaps not with murder, but with attempted murder.

Perhaps we should track down my schooldays tormentors, and try them for "attempted..." what would it be called? Not really murder.

You see my quandry? Ms. Drew did a terrible thing, no doubt about it. But it was only really made terrible because of Megan Meier's response. It would have been no more than a mean prank had Megan not comitted suicide; just as those who nicknamed me "Picker" were nothing more than mean-spirited classmates.

I can't, in good conscience, say we need to charge this woman with anything. Obviously, you disagree. I wan't to understand. Please comment on this one.