MyndFood

A Dream

2011-09-27T23:18:00.000-07:00

What is the American Dream?

I know we toss the term around quite a bit, as if we all know what each other is talking about, but what is it? Can you verbalize what it really means?

I used to think it had something to do with home-ownership, a somewhat common, albeit narrow, view of our common Dream. Various researchers over the years have surveyed Americans in an attempt to provide a common definition of the American Dream, and have come up with various concepts, ranging from dreams of abundance to the dream of home-ownership (that I once shared). Incidentally, this latter dream is come by honestly; in 1774, the Royal Governor of Virginia, Britain's representative in the colony at the time, wrote somewhat sarcastically that Americans were uniquely infatuated with the idea of land-ownership, and even went so far as to say that even if an American had attained Paradise, he would move on if he heard of a better place farther West.

But I've come to realize that land ownership is merely one manifestation of the achievement of our Dream. It's not the Dream itself; it's a representation of, in one small way, having achieved the Dream. The Dream is really something more fundamental than merely a quest to own land (a noble quest, incidentally, and rooted in our Constitution; in nations where there exists a more rigid and structured social order, it's often nearly impossible--and sometimes even illegal--for "average" citizens to own land; land ownership is reserved for nobility).

The other day, on my way into the office, I stopped at the gas station, and as I waited at the counter to pay for my fuel, I overheard the owner, a kind middle-aged man with a vague accent, talking with his daughter about her college experience. I asked her where she went to school (Berkeley--she just graduated) and what she studied (Economics) and if she was done (no; she's going back to Berkeley for an MBA). I was impressed--and told her as much, to the obvious delight of her proud father.

Her father made a comment about his college experience, so I asked him where he'd studied; Berkeley as well. Somehow, my quick fuel stop turned into a 15 minute chat, and I learned much about this man who, until that morning, was merely the guy who ran my favorite gas station.

He'd emigrated, with his family, to the U.S. as a teenager, and worked hard (at the perpetual urging of his parents) to go to college. He landed at Berkeley, graduated, married, and some years later owned (among other things, I suspect) a gas station, convenience store, and a small chain-restaurant franchise--and had an obviously intelligent daughter also studying business at Berkeley.

But somewhere in the middle of the conversation, my new friend showed me exactly what the American Dream means to someone born and raised in a place where such a Dream is not allowed.

"So many people I meet," he told me, "are just looking for the government to help them with this or with that--to give them a job or food or money. That's not why I came to America. I came here because I wanted a chance to make something of myself and my family."

I realized that most people who immigrated to our great country did not come with the goal of tapping into our great unemployment programs, or our medicare system, or our social security plans. In fact, my friend, the gas station owner, was very clear: he'd be insulted if you tried to offer to "help" him through one of these government programs.

For him, the American Dream was about him, and what he could achieve. It was merely him finding a place where, by definition, he started on equal ground with everyone else; he asked for nothing more than that, and wouldn't accept anything more than that if offered.

It's, perhaps, a subtle distinction, but I don't think our friend, the gas station owner, wants a nation that "compensates" for the things he wasn't born with, or the opportunities he "missed' because he wasn't born into the right family. In fact, for him, it's a matter of personal pride that he has achieved what he has achieved without any programs to compensate for his relative disadvantage. All he asked for--and what we gave him--was the same opportunity as anyone else.

I almost cried--literally--as, near the end of our conversation he, with a fierce look on his face, told me, "You know what? This country is the greatest place on Earth. This is the land of opportunity; it gave me the opportunity to do everything I've ever dreamed of, and I wouldn't trade it for anything. I love America."

It's been a long time since I've heard anyone so passionately in love with our country. And you know, as I listened to him talk about his fierce loyalty to America, it occurred to me that I've met numerous people who interpreted the American Dream as meaning they "deserved" certain things--like a certain level of income, or guaranteed income at retirement, or paid-for healthcare, or income regardless whether they were working. And none of those who I've known who've seen these things, these programs, as central to the American Dream--none of them have ever told me how much they love America; I've never heard a single one of them tell me passionately how great our country is.

There's a frightening trend in Washington today, and it's not just a Republican or just a Democrat thing. Virtually every politician running for office somehow weaves into their platform a theme that outlines what they are going to do for us. It's as if, in order for a politician to get elected, they have to demonstrate that they can give us more, get more for us, expand programs to include more people.

And as a supporting theme, our would-be representatives tell us how they are going to eliminate the unfairness that's keeping us from receiving those things that they want to do for us. They're going to rectify the fact that wealthy people don't "pay their fair share" in taxes. Or, as President Obama proposed recently, they are going to pass laws allowing job applicants who aren't hired to sue their would-be employers for discrimination if they believe they weren't hired because they've been unemployed for an extended period.

But there's something wrong with this--and it's not simply whether you believe the wealthy should be taxed more or less, or whether job-seekers should be allowed to sue for discrimination if they aren't hired. It's our increasing tendency, as Americans (or at least, as a group of politicians who purport to represent Americans) to point to others as the reason we, individually or collectively, haven't achieved prosperity. It's our collective tendency to depend on our representatives in Washington to "do more" for us to enable us to achieve prosperity.

But that's not our Dream. Our dream is more noble than that; it's about opportunity unencumbered by the weight of social ceilings or by legal barriers constructed for the purpose of excluding some to the benefit of others.

It is, as historian James Truslow Adams wrote:

"a dream of being able to grow to fullest development as man and woman, unhampered by the barriers which had slowly been erected in the older civilizations, unrepressed by social orders which had developed for the benefit of classes rather than for the simple human being of any and every class."

Why do we, as a nation, insist of cultivating a dependent citizenry? A nation as great as ours should have, by now, weaned ourselves of our dependency on our government for our income, food, healthcare, transportation and retirement. Yet it seems as though we've done the opposite; it's as though our representatives in Washington count it a mark of distinction that we have increasingly created a dependent class through our ever-expanding suite of social welfare programs. A nation as great as ours should birth noble people, driven to achieve personal success despite all obstacles, and as a gift from no one. Our increasing reliance on our government to provide for us is not a mark of distinction. It is not great--and gives no one cause to fall in love with our country.

There is little noble in receiving a grant to prosperity; and prosperity granted yields no satisfaction for the recipient. My Dream, the true American Dream, I think, is of an America that offers me nothing but an opportunity. I ask for no guarantees and no backup plans. I simply ask for a right to pursue prosperity, and for the right to call that prosperity mine--and only mine--if I achieve it.

What is your Dream?

6/24/2011 Ride

2011-06-24T12:26:00.000-07:00

Finish Line

2011-04-16T06:01:00.000-07:00

I forgot to tell you my time: 28:10.

My First 5K!

2011-04-16T05:59:00.000-07:00

Ran the Frank Landy 5k Fun Run this morning in Chicago. I'm here for a conference and couldn't pass up the opportunity to take a leisurely stroll through the Windy City on a fine Spring Saturday morning.

Actually it was kinda miserable. About 50 degrees, but with a light--very cold--wind, and as you can see in the picture, a heavy drizzle that turned into a light rain at the end of the race.

I had a blast! It was truly a lot of fun! Spent some time with a friend, and beat my best time ever for this distance by over 3 minutes! To be fair, this is the first organized run I've ever done, and there's something about it that pushes you to run just a little faster than you otherwise would.

Next goal: a 10k.

Zombie Watch

2011-03-02T18:38:00.000-08:00

The Boston Police Department is on it! Thought this was funny...

Alexis Had to Build a Mission...

2011-02-24T21:11:00.000-08:00

She decided to build San Juan Capistrano.

This is what she ended up with...

I think it looks pretty incredible!

I'm Back!

2011-02-07T01:22:00.000-08:00

I made a random visit to godaddy.com last week to see whether the status of the myndfood.com domain name had changed (my constant readers will recall that the truly despicable people at acquirethisname.com acquired my domain name a few years ago under less than admirable circumstances).

I was overjoyed to find that the domain had expired, and was up for grabs! So I bought it--again! And as quick as that, Myndfood.com is back in business!

I am happier than you can imagine. Yeah; I'll have to build my readership up again--but I'm not worried about that! There have to be a few truly strange folks out there who, for some unknown reason, enjoy hearing my admittedly strange perspective on things; you'll find me, I'm sure!

So, read on!

Italy is Beautiful...

2010-07-01T09:02:00.001-07:00

...but I miss my wife...so much! Her here would make this just about perfect...

Love you Shawna!

Riva del Garda

2010-06-30T05:58:00.000-07:00

Riva del Garda

2010-06-30T05:57:00.000-07:00

Riva del Garda

2010-06-30T05:14:00.000-07:00

Riva del Garda, Italy

2010-06-30T05:13:00.000-07:00

Grand Staircase, Venice

2010-06-30T05:11:00.000-07:00

Venice

2010-06-30T05:04:00.002-07:00

Venice

2010-06-30T05:04:00.001-07:00

Venice

2010-06-30T05:04:00.000-07:00

Grand Canal, Venice

2010-06-30T05:02:00.001-07:00

Gondolier, Venice

2010-06-30T05:02:00.000-07:00

Italia Bound

2010-06-26T23:20:00.000-07:00

So I'm heading to Italy for a conference. I'm gonna have a few days to do some sightseeing while I'm there, though, so my plan is to use my new iPhone 4 (with it's incredible 5 megapixel camera) to photoblog the trip.

Stay tuned!

Southpark

2010-04-24T21:32:00.000-07:00

I'm not a fan of Southpark; I don't have a television, so it'd be difficult to watch even if I wanted to, but the humor (while funny) is usually just a little too off-color for prudish me.

Nevertheless, I'm a little disgruntled. I guess (you Southpark watchers out there, tell me if I've got this wrong) that the writers, in their typical sacrilegious style, included references to the prophet Mohammad in a recent episode. I guess that there's this aversion amongst Muslims to pictorial portrayals of Mohammad so the Southpark writers cloaked the prophet in a bear costume (I'm thinking this might've been their cheeky way of poking fun at this admittedly strange Muslim custom).

Muslims have apparently not yet grown up. They got really upset and threatened to kill the Southpark writers. Which is kinda childish, you know? I mean, really. A stupid (not said disparagingly at all, Southpark fans) TV show pokes fun at your prophet. So you want to kill them?

That's just absurd. In fact, as I sit here thinking about it, it just makes me angry. Don't get me wrong; I think there are some things that are kinda sacred. I'm a religious guy and, I admit, it kinda bothers me when people debase something that I view as sacred. I've never threatened to kill anyone over it though. In fact, as I think about it, I recall that Southpark once aired a show in which Jesus battled Santa Claus in hand-to-hand combat; seems equally as sacrilegious as Mohammad in a bear costume. Yet I don't recall any Christians threatening to kill the Southpark people.

And I DEFINITELY don't recall Comedy Central (the network that airs the show) censoring the Jesus vs. Santa Claus episode as they did with the Bear Mohammad episode. Which gets me almost as much as a bunch of petulant (and, frankly, arrogant) Muslims threatening to kill someone.

Seems like such a double standard: Jesus vs. Santa Claus is funny; the Bear Mohammad is just too inappropriate. To be clear, I don't think the Jesus vs. Santa Claus episode should have been censored. I DO think, on the other hand, that there's something wrong with someone who threatens to kill another human being because they air a television show construed by the would-be killer as sacrilegious. I further think it's pathetic that the network would crater to the pressure from an extremist group.

I'm going to stop ranting while I'm still ahead. (I am still ahead, aren't I?).

As always, don't frequent www.acquirethisname.com. They're the scumbags who stole my domain name, and tried to screw me over when I wanted it back. They're the lowest form of entrepreneurs, the pond scum of capitalism, business people who ADD NO VALUE WHATSOEVER to the economy; rather, they suck the last dregs of life from those who've had the misfortune of failing to renew their domain name. They are extortioners of creativity, and I hope to see them out of business someday soon.

The Crooks that run www.acquirethisname.com

2010-02-26T16:49:00.000-08:00

So my email address has changed since I originally purchased the "MyndFood" url. And thus, when the domain name registration came up for renewal, I didn't know, and eventually, GoDaddy.com canceled my domain.

So I called them, explained to them what happened, and they offered to help me buy the domain back out of this virtual limbo (where nobody really owns it). So I said, "Sure". And they proceeded to go through the list of fees I'd have to pay to get the domain back during this "limbo" (basically, they were going to charge me about $150 to get the domain that I'd paid $9 for originally back).

Frankly, that's just crooked. I've thought a lot about this, and they've built a significant stream of income on taking advantage of people in distress.

Scumbags.

So I told them no. I figured that domain name limbo only lasts three months; I'll just wait until limbo is over, then hop back on and buy the domain again for the $9.99 price.

Wrong.

Turns out that there are crooked scavengers out there who are even more scumbag-ish than GoDaddy! Apparently there are these people out there who don't have a creative idea of their own, so they wait for folks to forget to renew their domain, they buy it out from under them, then they try to resell it!

Yep; some other jerk decided to buy MyndFood.com! He's at www.acquirethisname.com, by the way. I would STRONGLY urge you to NEVER go to acquirethisname.com to acquire a name because they will, without question, rape you.

The site asks me how much I'm willing to pay to get my url back; so I put in $35 (a fair premium, I think). They email me back telling me that they'll sell it to me for $3,000!

Insane! $3,000 for a url that, in its heyday, got like 60 hits per day? So I sent him a very kindly worded email, informing him (Blake, his name is) that he's nuts, and that, since I made up the word "MyndFood" in the first place, it'd be WAY cheaper for me to put on my creative cap again, and make up a different word than it would be to give him three grand for his crummy url.

So, my friends (if you can read this), MyndFood is dead. Which is OK.

Just wanted to vent a little!

Obama's Speech to Your Kids

2009-09-03T21:08:00.001-07:00

President Obama has planned a special speech, directed specifically toward students, to be broadcast via the Internet to schools around the country.

As a prestigious blogger, I've been allowed an early preview of the speech, and I have to say, Obama is doing a wonderful job of reaching out to America's students. I saw the California version, which begins:

"Buenos dias, estudientes. Para Ingles, marque numero uno; para Espanol, marque dos."

(the sound of the "1" button).

"Good morning students. Yesterday, as you know, was Labor Day, a special holiday that we Americans celebrate in honor of the various labor unions that have made the American workplace a safe and happy place for some of your parents. The labor unions, as you know, are foundational to America's prosperity for without them, ALL of your parents would be forced to work consistently without any hope of long-term unemployment benefits. Instead, Americans all over this great land have the ability to stay home a good part of the year and live comfortably, thanks to the wonderful benefits that the labor unions have been able to extract from over-wealthy business owners.

"But I wanted to take a few moments to talk to you today about the importance of the public school system. As you know, we in the Democratic Party have made public education a priority. We have invested enormous amounts of money in your education, and we are committed to giving you the best education available in this country. And we listen to you: as you know, I ran for President last year on a platform of Change, and we are working to make the public education system even better.

"First, there are over 40 million children between the ages of 1 and 4 here in America who are not in a school. I firmly believe in education for everyone. That's why I have instructed congress to pass the "Private Helps Public" act of 2009, in which every dollar that a wealthy parent pays for tuition so that their child can attend a high-priced private school, they must donate a dollar to the "Private Helps Public" fund.

"And what will those funds be used for? You noticed that, as part of my "Change You Can Believe In" campaign, I made some promises to better the public education system. True to my word, this year, when you came back to school, things had changed. Now, EVERY student gets a free breakfast at school; EVERY student has access to either reduced price--or even free--lunches. The money we receive from the "Private Helps Public" program will go to support a student free dinner fund, so that every child in America receives three meals a day. That's the kind of change you can believe in: we here in Washington are committed to ensuring we provide you with everything you need.

"This, American students, is my great dream: a nation in which your government ensures you have three meals a day at no cost to you; that you have all the health care you need at no cost to you; that you have an apartment in which to live that costs no more than 1/4 your monthly net income; that you have a fuel efficient, new car.

"This is my dream for you. There are those who don't want you to have that dream, though. Look around you: the parents of some of your fellow students, sitting right there in that room, would like to strip away all of the positive changes we've made, and keep us from doing this great work. But it need not be that way. You have a voice; you have an untapped source of power greater than any America has ever seen (you have, after all, given the guy with the flyless, elastic waisted camoflauge pants a swirly three times already this year).

"Use that power! Be a force for change! Go to my website and give us your email address; we'll forward links to free flyers you can pass out in your neighborhood. And talk to your parents; educate them. And if they refuse to listen, get them hopelessly drunk this November the night before voting.

"Remember children: you are the America of tomorrow. Our hope lies in you--and so you MUST stay in public school and continue to believe in the change that we continue to bring. And soon, we will have the country we have envisioned.

"Thank you, and may America be blessed."

OK. So, I'm not a prestigious blogger, and I certainly haven't been given access to Obama's speech in advance, but I have a somewhat active imagination, and based on all the uproar, this is what I imagine it'll be like.

Maybe not...who knows.

Thing is, a few years ago, I wouldn't have cared, but as I age (and become, I think, a better parent), I realize how raw my children are. They're literally begging for someone to shape their beliefs and values. And, regardless how noble--or ignoble--our President's intentions, if we're not careful, this speech and others like it will do much to shape those raw, searching children, many of whom have no real force in their life to provide the value structure.

And those children, a few short years from now, will project those values by way of a vote in the voting booth.

Hitler had it right when he formed the Hitler Youth: shape them while they're young, and they'll never depart.

The question you have to ask yourself: is this the message that I want to influence my child's value system?

I Forgot to Take Out the Garbage...

2009-08-28T21:03:00.001-07:00

...and Shawna demands a ship-shape house.

Just kidding. I had eye surgery today. Figured those who bear me
affection can poke fun, those who are curious can marvel, and those
who dislike me can revel in my enormous discomfort.

It's really quite disgusting and more than a little uncomfortable...

An Old, Old Friend (well, she's not old...the friendship is though)

2009-08-22T00:47:00.000-07:00

I had quite a pleasant surprise this evening.

I had a comment pop up in my email from Christina over at Cacoethes Scribendi, a blogger who I enjoy reading Oh, so much.

Imagine, then, my surprise when I saw a familiar face standing with a familiar village king from the Ivory Coast. And then, just below, myself, all those years ago, holding a sign crafted (I think) by my friend, Ogre, welcoming me back to the U.S. after weeks spent traveling abroad.

Christina was on that missions trip with me! I was dumbfounded!

At any rate, you simply have to stop over to her blog, check out the pics and read her stuff!

Good to hear from you again! Stop by again and say hi!

(and it's kinda nice to know SOMEONE still reads this blog! Here's a test: if you still read this blog--or if you're reading this now--post me a comment; make me feel better).

Hair

2009-08-08T13:17:00.000-07:00

In Chicago for a convention, walking down the street yesterday evening
hunting dinner, and look over and see hair!

Yep, Blogojevich and Fabio, together. A random pair and first glance,
but then not all that random. They're both obsessed with their hair
and they're both has-beens struggling desperately to remain in the
limelight.

Sad...

Running A Car Company

2009-08-01T17:58:00.000-07:00

The US Federal Government has put their collective wisdom to work as they settle down to the business of running their new company, General Motors.

A recent news story by a favorite news source, The Onion, demonstrates how your elected representatives are focused on bringing Change that we can believe in!

The Album Is Released!

2009-07-31T21:47:00.001-07:00

The new Covenant album is out!

And it's good!

Give it a listen at the Covenant MySpace page, and then hop over to the Sillimon Sound webpage to buy! You'll be able to buy it on iTunes soon (not sure when yet).

Great music and great singers ;-)

Sounds Familiar

2009-07-26T00:14:00.000-07:00

President Obama, in his weekly radio address on Saturday, referenced a new White House study indicating that small businesses pay far more per employee for health insurance than big companies. The disparity, he said, is "unsustainable--it's unacceptable."

First, I would point our esteemed President to any reasonable dictionary, and ask that he look up "economies of scale". Dictionary.com had this to say:

The increase in efficiency of production as the number of goods being produced increases. Typically, a company that achieves economies of scale lowers the average cost per unit through increased production since fixed costs are shared over an increased number of goods.

It stands to reason that a company who is providing health insurance for 5,000 employees would pay less per employee than a company insuring 30 employees; the administrative cost per employee is much less for the larger company, and there's much lower average risk per employee with the larger group than there is with the smaller group.

So, of course the big company get's a better rate.

From Obama's Saturday radio address next week:

"My fellow Americans: I found out today that Wal-Mart and Costco get tires cheaper on a per tire basis than does your local mom-and-pop tire shop. That's unsustainable--and it's unacceptable! I pledge to force Wal-Mart and Costco to pay an extra fee for each and every tire they purchase, in order to subsidize your local mom-and-pop tire shop's purchases just to make it fair."

I'm reading a story about a guy who became famous preaching a similar message to his countrymen. He rose from nothing (like Mr. Obama), and lead something of a grassroots effort (again, like Mr. Obama), crying out loudly and eloquently for "change" (like--you got it--Mr. Obama). And he ultimately won power by demonizing the industrialists in his country, the "big businesses" who had "unfair advantages" over the little guy.

His name was Adolf Hitler.

Happy Birthday!

2009-07-24T00:30:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday to you;
Happy Birthday to you;
Happy Birthday dear Alexis;
Happy Birthday to you!

Happy 8th birthday Lex!
I love you deeply!

Consumption Smoothing

2009-07-12T23:54:00.000-07:00

I was listening to a personal finance podcast the other day and the host, who was talking about funding retirement, mentioned a new strategy. He called it "Lifetime Consumption Smoothing". Sounded interesting.

Basically, the idea is that most people reach their peak earning potential in their 30's, 40's and 50's. Unfortunately, though, that's also when their consumption peaks. They spend the most during this period of their lives as well.

The host was advocating "smoothing" this consumption out over one's lifetime. That is, while you're earning oodles of cash in your 30's, don't spend it all; rather, put some away for when you're old and don't have the same earning potential.

It sounds suspiciously like a rebranded version of my grandfather's "save your money, son, for when you're my age" plan.

But a solid plan, nonetheless. Shawna and I have bought into it.

We're eating canned cat food once a week now.

Palin: The Last Republican Standing?

2009-07-09T00:34:00.000-07:00

USA Today reported yesterday that, according to a new nationwide USA Today/Gallup poll, Sarah Palin's approval ratings have improved since her surprise announcement last Friday that she'll step down from the Alaska Governor's office on July 26.

Her move, she said, would allow her home state of Alaska to progress further than it would with her at the helm (in the face of the overwhelming time demands associated with defending herself against a slew of ethics complaints following her much-publicized run at the Vice-Presidency, alongside Republican Presidential candidate John McCain). Leaving would also, she said, free her up to work to "help our nation achieve greatness."

I don't know what that means, and apparently, neither did anyone else in the Republican Party. Political strategist Karl Rove said that he and other party leaders were "perplexed" by Palin's move. Republican Senator Chuck Grassley from Iowa said that, "It's astounding," and that a run at the Presidency in 2012 would be difficult for Palin in light of her mysterious resignation. Mike Huckabee, another potential Republican Presidential contender in 2012 said that the move was "risky". Senator Lisa Murkowski even went so far as to accuse Palin as having "abandoned the state and her constituents."

Yet, Republicans nationwide indicated that they like her more for it. Maybe it's because the voting public recognizes that it takes a lot to walk away from such an incredible post for the good of your state, knowing it might cost you a lucrative job in the future. There's a ring of honesty that can't be explained away.

Think about it: Sarah Palin walks away from a post that would be a natural feeder to a Presidential run because the drama surrounding her life is taking away from her ability to serve the state of Alaska. No matter how hard you try, there's no way that the press could possibly spin that and make it some strategic move.

And the American public appreciates that.

Because if there's one thing we American's would love more of, it's representatives who are willing to actually sacrifice their own aspirations for the good of those they purport to serve.

The sad thing is that the Republican Party still doesn't get it; to them it's just a "risky" political move. Which is why they're a party headed rapidly toward political oblivion. It just feels right when a politician stands up and says, "me being in this post has cost the state $2 million; it's not fair to you, so I'll stand down and let another fill the spot." How dare Senator Murkowski accuse Palin of "abandoning" her state? She sacrificed on behalf of her state.

And unless the Republican Party can remove their collective heads from their collective backsides, stop pursuing their own political ambitions, and start doing what's right for their constituency--despite the personal political costs, they'll be a party no more.

Mark my words.

And the last one standing will be Sarah Palin. For all her shortfalls (including her incredibly shrill voice, her lack of nationwide political experience and her relative inability to make more than three consecutive public appearances without saying something incredibly foolish), the American people trust her. And believe in her. And will vote for her.

Governor Sanford could take a lesson from her.

I Forgot To Tell You...

2009-06-23T01:48:00.001-07:00

That you can see pictures of the trip over at Shawna's Facebook page. But I haven't the slightest idea how to get you to her Facebook page.

So if you're already her Facebook pal, you can see the pics...if not, try to find her.

Or not. Whatever.

Home!

2009-06-23T01:43:00.000-07:00

We're back.

I'm glad; I REALLY missed the kids (we haven't been away from them for that long since...well...since they were born, actually).

But I LOVE Manhattan! I wanna live there. Really, I do!

I have the building picked out, and everything! It's in the Upper East Side, right off of Central Park West...sigh...

Someday when I'm a famous (and eccentric) writer...at least famouser (and eccentricer) than I am now.

Until then, back home in the lovely Central Valley!

Didja miss me?

Had a fantabulous time, though! A Broadway show (which was incredible); a Statue of Liberty-Ellis Island-Chinatown marathon; Times Square (sensory overload); Cirque du Soleil (Oh. My. Goodness.); $200 in taxi fares (not all at once); and like eleventy-billion blocks walked.

Wonderful! You should go!

Happy Birthday Shawna!

2009-06-15T10:49:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday to my wife, Shawna!

We're spending the day (most of the week actually) in Manhattan, so we
met up with Lady Liberty for a birthday lunch...

The Sweet (Pungent) Smell of Victory!

2009-06-11T23:21:00.000-07:00

I've finally done it folks!

Today, I am a king! Today, I soar with eagles, a master, a recognized authority. And I am happy.

I received an email today from the Universal Record Database notifying me that I am the new certified URDB record holder for "Most American Quarters in the Nose"!

I'm so excited, I'm giddy!

The email said, in part:

On behalf of the entire Universal Record Database team, I'd like to offer my heartiest congratulations. We think your fitting quarters inside the nose abilities are tremendous.

You realize that this legitimizes what I've always known: I truly am great--the greatest in the world, in fact--at something!

I encourage you to visit my page at the URDB site. It's a shrine of sorts, a virtual museum dedicated to my momentous feat. And it's awe-inspiring (if I must say so myself). When I first visited it, I found myself sitting in quiet contemplation for a few moments, marveling at the awesomeness of this truly incredible feat.

I have to say that I do feel different now that I'm a celebrity. I recognize that I have an obligation to society--to do all I can to end world hunger, to ensure children have books to read, and to help ensure stray dogs are spayed or neutered. And I want to assure you that I won't forget where I came from: I won't allow myself to lose perspective; I want to stay grounded and in touch with my roots. I could never have achieved this without each of you, and I won't forget you.

Thank you once again for your continued support! Never forget: you can do anything you put your mind to! If I can do it, so can you!

__________

For press inquiries, please contact PJ's publicist at myndfood@aim.com. If you'd like to arrange for PJ to speak or perform at an even, please contact his agent at myndfood@aim.com. For general correspondence, please send a note to myndfood@aim.com. All other inquiries should be sent to PJ's business office at myndfood@aim.com.

A Big Tree in the Backyard

2009-06-09T21:16:00.000-07:00

It used to be that when Shawna and I tucked Lex and Gentry into bed, we would pray for them. But the other night, as I was praying, I realized that something had changed. We no longer pray FOR the kids; we pray WITH them.

I still do the whole, "God, protect my babies; give them rest without bad dreams, and place angels at their windows and doors to keep away anything that might hurt them." But then the kids chime in with their additions.

As I listened to their prayers the other night, my eyes began to water, and I thanked God under my breath. Because they get it; their prayers were so trusting, sweet and pure, from the heart of a child directly to the ears of a God whom they know to be a Father.

But a few of those tears were tears of sadness. Because their prayers were the prayers of someone far older than their seven or six years (respectively). They were the prayers of children who carry heavy loads on behalf of those they love.

Prayers for their aunt, uncle and cousins who just vacationed in Mexico--a simple request that God keep them from safe from the swine flu. Prayers for the family of Houston, a friend who passed away a few months ago in a tragic automobile accident--that God would be a comfort to them and heal their hearts. Prayers for their Mommy, who was in bed a little early that night, with a sick stomach and a throbbing headache--that God would help their mommy feel better. Prayers for their Pastor, who recently underwent a major surgery--that God would heal his stomach. Prayers for Poppy, who was in the hospital--that God would help him stop bleeding. And prayers, oddly enough, for their dog that died a few months ago--that God take care of her (in case, by chance, dogs actually do go to heaven).

It was a beautiful thing, this realization that my two incredible kids understand prayer, and talk to God with that simple, untainted, innocent faith that only a child can have. But as they both said, "Amen", I had a lump in my throat, and a heavy heart, because their prayers were all the prayers of one burdened by the calamity of others; none were the lighthearted prayers of a child. They didn't ask for toys or video games; they didn't ask for a vacation or a swimming pool; they didn't ask for a bicycle or even a new sword or doll.

They simply asked that God reach down and care for those they love.

And that's beautiful, but somber.

I swallowed the lump, and with a soft, breaking voice, told each one how much I love them, that they are two of the three most precious people in my life.

And as I hugged them tight, and kissed them both, they each blurted out--almost simultaneously, "Daddy! We forgot something!"

And so we all closed our eyes again, and I listened as they told God that they'd forgot to ask for a house with a big tree in the back yard--big enough for a tree house.

I smiled, and whispered a silent prayer of my own: "God, as you grant each of their requests, please take special care to answer that one." Because if two people ever understood being a Christian, it's the two selfless children who, despite being true kids--ornery, rambunctious and strangely hard of hearing when Mom tells them to clean their room--spend their prayer time talking to God on behalf of those they love instead of themselves.

And if anyone deserves a big tree in the backyard, it's them.

A Tale of Utter Ineptitude

2009-06-05T11:00:00.000-07:00

My son came home from school and told me that there was a kid on the playground today brandishing a pocket knife, and threatening to "hurt" anyone who refused to give him their lunch.

I was, naturally, alarmed, and rushed back down to the school and requested an audience with the principal. He called me in and asked how he might help.

"Mr. Bateman," I said, "my said came home from school, and told me that another boy was on the playground today brandishing a pocket knife, threatening to hurt anyone who refused to relinquish their lunch."

"Oh my!" the principal exclaimed, jumping from his desk chair. "Which boy was it," he asked my son, as he strode across the room.

"It was Joey," my son said quietly.

The principal picked up a dry erase marker and began to write on a whiteboard hanging on his office wall.

I waited until he moved away, then read:

"The Principal and administration of Horace J. Morgan Elementary School condemn Joey's use of a knife and threats against other students."

"There you go," he said, as he put down the marker. "Don't you feel better?"

_______________

President Obama would like us to believe that convincing the principal, the UN Security Council, to issue a statement condemning the school yard bully, North Korea, for rattling its nuclear saber, is leadership. And he'd have us believe that making a statement condemning the action is sufficient to cause that bully to stand down.

The bully has never cared before; he's not likely to care this time just because his name was written on the board.

Our President has demonstrated Chamberlain-like, bury-your-head-in-the-sand diplomacy on this one. And that should worry you.

Funny

2009-06-04T21:51:00.000-07:00

I heard a guy on the radio today say that doing your own taxes is kinda like a do-it-yourself mugging.

I like that.

10 Years

2009-05-22T09:15:00.000-07:00

Today, dear MyndFood readers, is a day for celebration!

Shawna and I celebrate our 10 year anniversary today! That's right, 10 years!

I have to say, I don't deserve to have had 10 great years with such an incredible woman--and I count every day a blessing that we have together.

Sometimes it takes a paradigm shift in order to understand what true love really is, and I'm so incredibly fortunate to have found it.

So, here's to an incredible lady--who has stuck with me for 10 years! And here's to at least 70 more!

I love you Shawna! I count myself fortunate to have you as my wife. I certainly don't deserve someone as truly amazing as you!

Happy Anniversary!

Oh--if you have Shawna's phone number/email/facebook (gasp) tag, send her anniversary greetings!

Wal-Mart vs. Green Day (Go Wal-Mart!)

2009-05-21T17:46:00.000-07:00

Kudo's to Wal-Mart for not selling the new Green Day album (which has vulgarity and other adult content).

Wal-Mart's music purchasing policy has always been that they'll not sell an album that requires a parental advisory sticker. They'll allow artists to sell a modified version of the album (with adult content removed) in Wal-Mart stores, but not the original content.

Apparently Green Day doesn't like this policy, and is blathering on about "censorship". I don't see it as censorship (if, that is, censorship is defined as "repressing speech, art or any other form of communication"). It's not repressing, it's simply Wal-Mart applying a standard to the products that they choose to sell. Green Day is still free to make the album, sing the songs, and sell the album anywhere else that'll carry it.

Would Green Day be angry at me if I disallowed my daughter from buying their CD? Would that be repression?

At any rate, I'm proud of Wal-Mart, and you should be too. I urge you, take a few moments and sent an email note to the folks over at Wal-Mart, at questions@checkoutblog.com, congratulating them for their high standards!

America's Greatest Threat

2009-05-16T18:24:00.000-07:00

MyndFood Readers:

It is with great solemnity that I write this post. I read, this afternoon, with great horror, about a brave legislator from North Carolina (Congressman G.K. Butterfield) who has devoted himself to fighting the newest silent enemy to attack unsuspecting Americans everywhere.

And, in support of his valiant fight, I post this, asking you, faithful reader, to send a letter to your local congressman asking them to please support the "Don't Let The Bedbugs Bite Act of 2009". I have, for your benefit, included below sample text for you to include in your letter, but first I would like to give you some statistics.

Bedbugs are, according to Butterfield, a force to be reckoned with. They are known to have attacked every state in the Union en masse. They are easily transferable: they jump into suitcases and travel across borders. And they can go for up to a year without food.

While they aren't carriers of any disease (that is, you won't get sick if you're bitten by one), they are a distinct public health concern because, as Michael Potter of the University of Kentucky (the leading US authority on bedbugs--which doesn't seem like much of a feat, if you ask me; how many people, really, have devoted their academic career to studying bedbugs, for goodness' sake?) says, bedbugs often cause great emotional distress to their victims. "They're, like, ready to blow their brains out," says Potter (although, if you ask me, a person is already in pretty bad shape emotionally if bedbugs cause them to contemplate suicide).

Butterfield's proposed legislation would allocate $50 million to programs to help train public health officials about these diabolical critters. Further, it would require that public health departments submit Bedbug plans to the federal government, and would require the CDC to research the impact of bedbugs on mental health.

It's a relief knowing that our elected officials are committed to our protection, and are working on our behalf on the issues that really matter. So, with that, I ask you to please copy the following text into an email to your local legislator; let him know how important an issue this is.

Dear Legislator:

I am writing to ask you to please support Rep. G.K. Butterfield's proposed legislation, the "Don't Let The Bedbugs Bite Act of 2009".

Bedbugs are, very possibly, the single most important issue that we, as a nation, face today. National security, global unrest, the economy, the health of big business and unemployment pale in comparison to this enormous issue.

Bedbugs, while they don't carry any communicable diseases, bring great emotional trauma to those who are afflicted with them--even pushing some to the point of suicide. That's un-American. Our government MUST do something!

We must understand how to identify bedbugs--that's why I support the $50 million that Rep. Butterfield has allocated to bedbug training. And we must understand the emotional effects--which is why I support Butterfield's plan to push the Centers For Disease Control to spend their time and resources studying the psychological effects of bedbugs (the CDC has the swine flu thing pretty much under control, right? What else is there for them to work on?). Finally, though, if the crisis on Wall Street has taught us anything, it's that we CANNOT TRUST business--which is why I support Butterfield's plan to require many businesses to submit bedbug control plans to the federal government for approval.

No cost is too great, no expense too extreme, if it saves us from this "Insect of Evil", these insect brokers of terror. We must fight, and we must prevail.

And so, I ask you, legislator, to lead the charge!

Sincerely,

[your name]

10 Year Anniversary Trip

2009-05-15T22:15:00.001-07:00

So, next Friday is our 10 year anniversary--that's right, on May 22, Shawna and I have been married for 10 years--nearly 1/2 her life ;-).

At any rate, I'm taking her on a surprise trip (in a few weeks) in celebration of our 10 years--well, it's not a surprise that we're going on the trip; the destination is the surprise. The thing is, she won't stop pestering me: she wants to know where it is I'm taking her.

So I thought I'd give her a hint. MyndFood style. Maybe a few hints.

So here's the first hint: there are lions, tigers and other animals there.

Guess?

Quote of the Week

2009-04-21T23:50:00.000-07:00

The great thing about American government is that even the most fiercely ignorant politician can accomplish the utterly absurd if they put their mind to it.

-PJ Green

Let Them Fail: Common Sense, Buffoon Style

2009-04-20T15:01:00.000-07:00

A story today in the Wall Street Journal points to a sobering reality. According to the WSJ's analysis, lending activity by the banks receiving TARP funds decreased by a total of 4.7%, month over month, between January and February. This sounds a little ominous, but when you factor that out over 12 months (remember, that's a one month decline), you get a decrease in lending activity of 56.4%! That's huge! Essentially, we pumped billions of dollars into a bunch of banks in order to get them moving again. And what did they do? They DECREASED lending activity!

What a surprise!

The real question, though, is what does it mean?

First, despite all the bailout money we've pumped into the various banks, they are loaning even LESS money. And that's a problem. Because this house of cards our government is trying so valiantly to prop back up requires the loaning of money (not that I'm an advocate by any means; I'm merely trying to establish the fundamentals of the government's plan). We need to circulate more money in the economy, but people don't have money. So they need to borrow more from banks, which means the banks need to loan more. But the banks are broke, which means we need to give them some money to loan.

Which, after a great deal of analysis, brings us to this question: if we give the broke banks money to loan, and their lending activity DECREASES, what do we do next? The obvious answer is give the banks more money, right?

Wrong. The truth is, we're merely trying to prop up bad businesses. It's true of the auto companies, the banks and the insurers. They're poorly run, inefficient businesses--and the truth is, they can't compete with the rest of the world.

So why in the world would we want to throw more money at them? In the REAL world (the one that you and I live in), high performance is rewarded with returns; poor performance with failure.

Why would it be so terrible if the banks failed? I know: that comment qualifies me as an ignorant buffoon, right? I mean, think of the lost jobs, the lost money, the vacant high rises in New York (and the resultant plummeting NYC Class A rental rates). I'm just narrow-minded and downright ignorant.

Perhaps. But before you pass final judgment, consider this: according to statistics compiled by the Small Business Administration (SBA) over 50% of private sector employees in the U.S. are employed by a small business. Further, small business accounts for over 45% of the TOTAL PAYROLL across the U.S. (including private sector payroll). Even more remarkable is the fact that between 60-80% of all new jobs created over the last decade have been created by small businesses!

Profound numbers--all of them. And they seem to indicate that, first, small business is substantially more impactful on the economy than are these giants that are being bailed out. Additionally, small business is growing in proportion to big business (the lumbering giants are slowly but surely being overtaken by their swifter, more innovative and much smaller counterparts).

And I would contend that that's OK. Why not let these giants fail--and let the small businessmen (who are actually, based on the statistics above, GROWING our economy) keep that tax money, and put it to PRODUCTIVE use in their OWN firms?

Makes perfect sense to me.

But then, what do I know? I'm just an ignorant buffoon.

The Cardinals Are Winning

2009-04-18T11:23:00.001-07:00

Revolution?

2009-04-17T17:17:00.000-07:00

Unless you've been hiding under a rock (or you can't seem to escape the vacuous pull of the Facebook homepage...sheesh) for the past few days, you know about the various Tea Parties that cropped up all over the U.S. on Wednesday. For those who haven't heard, I trust you recall the original Tea Party (in Boston...a few years ago...when Sam Adams and his rabble rousing buddies drunk on the idea of Liberty--and just a little too much of his soon-to-be-trademark ale--unloaded a whole bunch of tea into Boston Harbor in protest against mother England's unfair and burdonsome tax on the stuff). Well, the Wednesday (tax day, not coincidentally) events were in protest of the progressively oppressive tax burden on U.S. citizens, or of the corporate bailouts that Obama and his merry band of aspiring investment bankers keep pumping out (depends on who you ask).

At any rate, basically U.S. taxpayers are fed up--either with the taxes they're being forced to pay, or with the way the money's being used. And in many cases, both.

The Tea Parties were remarkably well-attended (I was travelling, or I would have attended); I think it scared some folks. Including this guy at a site called Mother Jones (which, after a cursory read, seems to provide an extremely one-sided perspective of politics and policy in the U.S.).

But this guy, Ridgeway, wrote a blog post called, "Conservatives Branding Themselves 'Right-Wing Extremists'". It's a long, rambly post, most of which is utter nonsense (which is OK; everyone has a right to be wrong). But his final sentence just irked me. He said:

Do the Tea Party attendees really want to paint themselves with the same brush as guys like this [neo-nazis], just in order to get some victim cred?

First, what self-respecting writer would ever use the phrase, "just in order to"? I can see, "just to get some victim cred," or "in order to get some victim cred," but his language is just appalling.

That's not really what got me though. He's trying valiantly to liken Tea Party participants to neo-nazis! What?!? I missed something somewhere. I didn't see the news stories where Tea Party participants were yelling hate-filled racial epithets, burning ethnic effigies, or taking baseball bats to the legs of their opponents. Did you? How in the name of all that is rational can you even begin to compare the Tea Party protesters with neo-nazis?

I know, I know: he's TRYING to make the point that CONSERVATIVES are painting THEMSELVES in that light, but that's just utter balderdash. Maybe SOME conservatives are trying to capitalize on the success of the parties, but the truth of the matter is, this wasn't really a conservative movement--any more than the original Tea Party was a conservative movement. Both were about Liberty--plain and simple. The overwhelming message is not that "we are victims." It's, "you, our elected representatives--from BOTH parties--have done a deplorable job in carrying out your elective responsibilities. We, therefore, put you on notice: change things, or we will."

You tell me: does that sound like the talk of a victim? I think not. Rather, it's the sound of a patriot! A true American, stepping forward and standing up for that Liberty and Freedom that our founding fathers, with incredible foresight, established in the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution.

On the upside though, when status-quo bloggers start writing nonsense like this, it means they're scared.

It's working folks! Feels like revolution to me!

2009-04-17T16:39:00.001-07:00

I "tweet" now...over on the right. You see?

That's "tweet", not tweak...

More Billy Bob

2009-04-11T11:54:00.000-07:00

In the news today, Billy Bob Thornton's band, the Boxmasters, canceled the rest of their Canadian tour after being booed and criticized by angry Canadian fans after his recent radio interview.

Good for Canada.

Billy Bob Thornton Is A Jerk

2009-04-09T10:28:00.000-07:00

Don't believe me? Watch this video. I'm not a fan of his fusion of "British Invasion meets hillbilly" music, so I wouldn't listen to his music if the Boxmakers were the last band on earth, but I'm not even going to check them out now. And I'm certainly not going to watch any Billy Bob movies.

The guy is a creep.

You'll have to watch the video to know what I mean, but it's absurd to think that some new band in some alt-indie genre has made it big in only a year based solely on the quality and appeal of their music--particularly if their front man is an Academy award winning movie star.

The ONLY reason they've sold enough albums to even buy groceries is because they've got Thornton up front. And for him to so arrogantly insist that their musical success has nothing to do with his movie career and, further, that his interviewer NOT EVEN MENTION HIS MOVIE CAREER is head-in-the-clouds idiocy.

He needs to be brought back down to earth.

Watch it and see if you agree...

The Scariest Tax Yet

2009-03-20T20:27:00.000-07:00

The US House of Representatives passed a rushed bill today, levying a 90% tax on the bonuses that AIG executives received--after the government had poured billions into the insurance giant, in an effort to prop up the company and stabilize the faltering economy.

Senate Republicans have put the brakes on the measure, at least for now, in what is a rare display of governmental level-headedness. Regardless your opinion of the AIG bonuses, consider the precedent this sets. Essentially, the House (and a good part of the Senate) has said, "if we don't like what you do with your money, we'll tax it at inordinately high rates." For what it's worth, I'm not particularly fond of what AIG did with at least part of the money (that you and I, unwillingly, gave it). But I'm not interested in a government that can, at its pleasure, decide to levy a 90% tax on money that you save, spend or blow--merely because it doesn't agree with your choices.

Consider this: what if a larger-than-normal proportion of people, this year, saved their tax refunds (or used them to pay down their debt)? Many economists agree that spending stimulates a slacking economy, so it stands to reason that a great number of politicians in Washington would want us to SPEND our refunds on new stuff. Would it be OK with you if the US Government enacted a new tax: 90% of your tax refund in taxes, unless you spend it on something new (paying down old debt or putting it in savings accounts doesn't count)? I'd wager you'd be incensed.

But is this any different? You could argue that since the Government GAVE them the money in the first place, the Government should have a say into what they do with the money. I can follow that logic. But that's not what this is. This is a strongarm tactic that has absolutely nothing to do with the US Government's agreements with AIG. I say that, under NO circumstances, should our Government have the ability to apply or increase a tax because they don't agree with how an individual or corporation uses their money.

Frankly, it scares me to death.

So Easy, An 8th Grader Can Understand

2009-03-14T10:37:00.001-07:00

Conservatism: as defined by--are you ready?--a thirteen year-old!

He says it SO much better than I could ever hope to.

Enjoy!

Awesome Resume

2009-03-12T14:15:00.000-07:00

I have, in the past, done some resume and cover letter writing for people looking to make their application packet "pop" right out of the stack on the receiving HR managers desk.

But I've never quite achieved this level of...well...awesomeness.

His name is Barney Stinson. And he has the most...awesome...resume ever. It's a video resume!

Go to www.barneysvideoresume.com to watch it.

Hay Fever

2009-03-10T10:24:00.000-07:00

This is one of the funniest videos I've ever seen.

Politics Makes You Old

2009-03-09T13:37:00.000-07:00

I was scanning the news online today, and came across this picture of Hillary Clinton yesterday in a television interview while visiting Turkey on US diplomatic business.

The picture below is of Hillary prior to announcing her bid for the US Presidency. Is it me, or does it seem like she's aged quite a bit in the last year or two?President Obama commented last week to an offhand comment about his age. He alluded to the seemingly rapid graying of his hair at the temples. He attributed it to the stress of the job and the many sleepless nights (I predicted this, in a sense, in a post some time back). I have political aspirations; I'd like to someday hold an elected office, but I'm starting to rethink that. It seems as though politics makes you old.

Freedom & Responsibility

2009-02-23T22:36:00.000-08:00

Viktor E. Frankl, an Austrian holocaust survivor, once said: "I recommend that the Statue of Liberty be supplemented by a Statue of Responsibility on the west coast." I've come to realize that with much freedom comes much responsibility. An environment in which one exists without equal parts of the other is not a wholesome environment, and is destined for failure.

Consider the stereotypical teenage rich girl whose parents lavish upon her every luxury. She has it all, wants for nothing, yet works for none of it. You know one of them, I'm sure (and maybe one of them was your sister growing up; not mine--because my sister reads this blog). They are generally wasteful, ungrateful and disrespectful. Responsibility doesn't enter into their vocabulary (remember Paris Hilton's DUI convinction--while driving her 3/4 million dollar Mercedes SLR McLaren--and subsequent citation for driving without a license?).

We see an excellent example of this in post-Katrina New Orleans. Thousands of homeowners who'd been unable to secure flood insurance on their property (with good reason; what insurance company would choose to insure a property situated on the coast, but below sea level?), were suddenly faces with demolished homes, and no means to rebuild. They chose to exercise their freedom--their right to own property--and purchased a home with no protection from what almost certain to be impending disaster. Yet, in steps the government, and absolves them of all responsibility. They've provided funding atop funding in the form of program after ineffective program to rebuild the homes of poor New Orleans homeowners. And what do we end up with? A bunch of rebuilt, un-insurable homes, in an area destined for disaster.

Innefficient by all accounts. Why? Because weve allowed freedom, but we've not required those with the freedom to take responsibility for how they exercise that freedom. We've allowed--in some cases even asked--the government to step in and be our insurance, often to protect us from our own stupidity. And in doing so, we have enabled further future stupid, and overwhelmingly irrational decisions--all of which detract from the overall value created in our economy.

Freedom without responsibility simply will not work.

Neither, though, will resposibility without freedom. Consider an environment in which you and are I forced to pay taxes, yet have no meaningful (and I mean meaningful) input into how those taxes are used. We bear the responsibility in that we pay, but we have no freedom (in that we have no say into the use of the funds).

Consider, then, the political climate today. It's widely acknowledged that we are in the midst of a severe economic decline. For all intents and purposes, we're in a recession. Some would indicate it has all the makings of a depression. We look around and see examples of individuals and businesses taking their personal freedoms to the extremes. Foreclosures due to borrowers buying beyond their means are rampant. Big businesses who lost sight of efficiency are in dire straights, and begging for help. Banks across the nation are broke--some literally going out of business.

Look across every front of this crisis, and a familiar face keeps popping up: personal freedoms used foolishly. In every case we can see someone who took advantage of their freedom without adequately weighing the cost in terms of their responsibilities. And when circumstances align, and the bottom drops out of so many different things at once, and responsibility rears it's ugly head calling for its due, what is our collective response?

In part, it's been an $800 billion bailout of big business and another nearly $800 billion in "economic stimulus" spending--including a great deal of money to help people who are losing their homes keep them.

And I read today that something like 60 percent of Americans favor this stimulus plan. It's proof positive that we Americans want all the freedom that comes with being American, but don't want to bear the responsibility that great freedom brings.

This, dear readers, is a dangerous place. The moment we ask to relinquish any measure of our great responsibility is the moment we are forced to hand over some of that precious freedom. It's appalling to me how short-sighted we Americans can be. Is our freedom really that valueless?

I, for one, am not content to relinquish any of my freedom. If that means that I'll have to bear the responsibility for each and every one of my decisions, so be it. Freedom is that precious, that important, and I'm ashamed that America is choosing time and again, the meager insurance that our pathetic government offers over the freedom that our forefathers envisioned as our birthright.

Yet we remain, as always, apathetic, sitting like the proverbial frog in the water as they ever so slowly turn up the heat.

It's time, I say, to leap. I leave you with this:

"...whenever any form of government becomes destructive to these ends, it is the right of the people to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their safety and happiness."

-The United States Declaration of Independence

I'm Home

2009-02-19T09:55:00.000-08:00

I'm happy.

Quote of the Week

2009-02-16T20:40:00.000-08:00

Among men and women, those in love do not always announce themselves with declarations and vows. But they are the ones who weep when you're gone. Who miss you every single night, especially when the sky is so deep and beautiful, and the ground so very cold.

-Alice Hoffman

I'm traveling again; can you tell? I'm in Santa Fe, where the sky is, indeed, deep and beautiful, and the ground is, without question, very cold, and everywhere you look the beauty and complexity of nature is so breathtaking it almost makes you cry.

And in all of it, I think of Shawna. When I look into the sky, across the valley, to the snow-capped mountains, my thought is, always, how the full beauty can only truly be experienced when it's experienced with all the depth of your emotions. But I can't do that because there's this enormous piece of my heart that's back in California with my wife and children.

So I've decided that I'm going to bring Shawna back! Maybe a move here (it's an absolutely lovely place), but certainly a weekend away.

Until then, though, I miss her and the kids terribly!

Lesson's Learned

2009-02-14T22:05:00.000-08:00

Let it never be said that you can't teach an early bird new tricks...or attention to detail makes one healthy, wealthy and wise...that doesn't sound right.

I dunno. At any rate, I learned something new this week--about giving, love and Valentine's day.

I learned that the greatest giving is multi-dimensional. I've always been a gift giver; I love giving gifts. This year, though, I wanted Valentine's day to be over the top. So I (as you, by now, know) began "wooing" Shawna on Monday. And I, of course, bought her a few small gifts. I took the kids shopping and they found some picture frames that I helped them paint (one evening while Mom was out). And I spent yesterday afternoon (while she was working) making a special dinner for her (it took me 5 hours, but she said it was good). And she and I spent the evening together tonight; it was a date (been a long time sinced we've dated! It made me feel almost young again).

And I realized that my giving, in as many ways as I could imagine, made me love her that much more! I'm passionate about her!

The greatest takeaway from this whole week, I think, was the idea behind Valentine's day. It's always been a day when you're obliged to buy a gift for the one you love. I realized this week that it CAN be an attitude. That deep seated love that is always in the forefront of your mind, that causes you to always be looking for ways to give of yourself as an expression of your love.

So today, at the end of Valentine's Day, 2009, I express my deep-seated, undying love to my wife and friend, Shawna. And I pledge to live each and every day in the spirit of Valentine's Day!

I love you, Shawna--with every thought and with all of my energy, I love you!

In all of my hopes, dreams and desires for my life, you're there. I look forward to a lifetime full of Valentine's with you.

Love always, Your Husband:

PJ

Ma Doulce Valentinee...

2009-02-13T21:32:00.000-08:00

Je suis desja d'amour tanné
Ma tres doulce Valentinée…

Charles, Duke of Orleans, is said to have written these words (a declaration of love) to his wife, while he was imprisoned in the Tower of London following his capture at the Battle of Agincourt.

I thought they were appropriate words; I feel much as he must have felt when he wrote to his Valentine that he was sick in love with his sweetheart, soft Valentine. 'Cuz I've missed my Valentine today. She's been working all day, and I feel like I've been locked away in the Tower (although, for much of the afternoon, I did have Alexis and Gentry for company; makes it a bit easier).

But she's home now. And we just enjoyed the meal that I spent HOURS (literally) making. I've missed her...glad she's here now.

Want her to know that I, like Charles, feel, painfully, each moment that she's away.

And I love her.

Happy almost Valentine's Day Shawna!

That Song!

2009-02-12T21:39:00.001-08:00

I searched YouTube and found the song that Shawna used to play when we were dating! I'm reminiscent this week, aren't I?

Well enjoy it...

Shawna: I couldn't make it without you...

I love you with all my heart. Happy Valentines Day (#4)!

Valentines Day 3

2009-02-11T14:56:00.000-08:00

The other day we pulled up and parked in front of a store. I put the car in park, turned it off and sat there while Shawna pawed through her purse looking for something. Lex and Gentry unbuckled their seatbelts and began bouncing around waiting to get out. Then Lex stood up on that little hump that runs down the center of the floorboard, and leaned up into the front seat to ask us something.

I didn't hear a word of it.

I smelled this scent--a scent that caused my breath to catch in my throat, my stomach to relax, and my mind to float away to nearly twelve years ago.

To a night after church when I walked up to the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen--a gorgeous blonde who wouldn't give me the time of day. I made it a point to shake her hand at least six times a night, everytime for as long as she'd let me hold on, all the while jabbering about inconsequential stuff, hoping beyond hope for a laugh, or even a grin.

Nothing. Except for a vague, "what a weirdo" look toward her friends.

I kept coming back, though. Eventually I softened her reserve and got a smile. And then a laugh. And then a reply. And a year and a half later, a wife.

But that scent was always the same. It was intoxicating, that perfume she wore. I swooned when I smelled it. I sprayed it on my sweatshirts when she wasn't looking. It was beautiful.

The perfume (I still know the name; I can name it by scent from 20' away), has since disappeared from the fancy cases at Macy's and now graces the "perfume-in-a-clear-plastic-case" shelf at Walgreens. And somebody bought it for Alexis.

I think I hugged Lex like 30 times that day.

Shawna still wears wonderful perfume, but theres something almost Pavlovian about the memories that first scent still unleashes. It reminds me of the day I realized I was in love with her. And I begin to go back through all the reasons I fell in love with her in the first place, and all the reasons I still love her today.

Most importantly though, it reminds me of that first love--the love that doesn't demand perfection, but rather creates an environment that cultivates growth. Most of our personal development happens when we're nurtured in a loving environment, and very little growth happens in harsh, critical environment. We've all loved in that way from time to time; you remember when you first fell in love? But often the pressure of everyday life causes us to get lazy in our love, and we let that loving environment begin to degenerate. And growth stops.

It's one of Shawna's greatest strengths--nurturing that loving environment that allows weakness to be strengthened and flaws to be worked out.

I hope I can be that type of husband and friend--one who manifests a nurturing environment of true love that enables those I love to be better people.

Thank you Shawna.

I love you still!

Your husband, PJ.

You Complete Me

2009-02-10T10:09:00.000-08:00

There's this notion in business (called complexity theory) that basically says, in a functioning group of two or more people, the whole is greater than the sum of the parts.

It's true. I'm better--in all aspects of my life--for having Shawna as my partner. She enhances the parts of me that are good, supplements the parts that are weak, and takes up the slack for the parts that are nonexistent.

There was this song that Shawna used to listen to when we were dating (she had the CD on perpetual repeat, I think). It was a country song that says, "I'm everything I am because you loved me." I know they're lyrics to a song, and to a degree, kinda sappy, but as Day 2 of the week long Valentine, I wanted to express to Shawna that she's that partner for me. She's the one who takes me from what I am on my own to realizing my full potential.

Do you know how amazing it is to have someone like that in your life?

Think about it. Ask yourself this question: does the one I'm with ADD something to what I am, or do they DETRACT from what I am? There's an adage that's sometimes used in expressions of love: you complete me. There's also a polar opposite, though: you DEPLETE me. Does the one you love complete you, or do they leave you even less of a person than when you started?

It's a measure of true love, I think. I can honestly say, with all my heart, that Shawna completes me. I look forward to being with her, because I'm full when I'm with her. And it inspires me to more actively work toward being the one who completes her.

And for you few faithful readers: one final question. Do you complete the one you are with, or do you deplete them? Sometimes we're frustrated that the one we love isn't quite what they should be. Could it be that they can only be that with you actively working to complete them? That the part that's missing is directly linked to what you detract from the relationship? It happens; I promise you. I've been that one who was depleting in the relationship. Take this as an encouragement: examine your relationship; ask yourself do I complete my mate, or deplete them? And if I am depleting, is it causing the one I love to pull back?

And if you find you're depleting, then just work to change it. It's not that hard--I promise. Love is not very hard when it's active. When you are looking, actively, to express your love, it's very easy to add to the relationship--to complete the one you love. Passivity in love is the enemy of healthy relationships.

And so, I say all that to say this: I love you Shawna. You really do complete me. I can only be what I should be with you there, adding yourself to the mix.

Thank you for being my partner.

Love,

PJ

A Week's Worth of Valentine's

2009-02-09T01:12:00.000-08:00

I don't usually get too personal here; it has just never seemed the right venue to spout off too much about my life. The way I see it, if you're important to me, you know what's going on in my life. If you have to visit my blog to find out about it, you're probably not important to me.

That's not intended to be rude. Frankly, the way I see it, most folks in the universe really couldn't care less about what's going on in my life, and for me to post it on the random chance that someone who really cares might stumble upon it is a waste of my time, and a waste of cyber-real estate.

Nevertheless, if you ARE important to me, and you DO care about what's going on in my life, I'm glad to chat with you about it--I'll get you all up-to-date; just give me a call!

...boy, that was starting to turn into a ramble wasn't it?

BUT, this week, as you know, is Valentine's Day--a day set aside for us to show that special someone--the one we love--how much they mean. And I thought, what better way to show The One in my life how much I adore her than by writing about her! I'll spend my time doing something I love, writing about someone I love!

Awesome!

At any rate, I know it's not Valentine's Day yet, but I started thinking: this May will be TEN YEARS of marriage for Shawna and me! Yep! Ten years!

Can you believe it?

But I realized something recently: after ten years of being with someone, the thought of being WITHOUT them is as scary as the thought of losing a limb. That whole, "...two become one...what God hath joined together" thing; it's really accurate. I had this realization that she is a part of me. Time without her is not quite complete.

It's always been like that though; business travel just depresses me to death (you know that, though; I've written about it here) because it feels like only half of me is there. But time really has a way of cementing that bond.

That's not really what I wanted to say, though. I was thinking: I'd like to make this Valentine's Day memorable for her. It'll be our ninth as man and wife; our eleventh as two people in love with each other. It's OK if I wax a little sappy, though, isn't it?

No matter. If you don't like sappy, come back next week when I'm writing about boring inconsequential stuff again (like Obama and the ridiculous stimulus package).

Today though, and the rest of the week, I'm just gonna let it all hang out--straight up sappy!

And tell Shawna, in front of the whole world (or, at least the tiny fraction of the world that happens to stumble upon MyndFood) that she's still "That One" for me. I can honestly say that she's shown me what true, unending love is. It's something deeper than (sorry Mother and Dad) a parent's love; even deeper than Lex and Gentry's unwavering love.

It's a love that says, "I choose you. Even when it's not rosy and fun, I still choose you. And I love you--until it hurts; I love you."

See, Mother and Dad didn't choose me; I landed on their doorstep, and so they love me. I'm glad for it, but there's a bond there that's not really a choice; it's built into their nature. And Lex and Gentry landed on MY doorstep; they had no choice in the matter. The love that they express is undying, but it's the result of a paternal bond that is virtually impossible to break.

But Shawna: she chose me. Which means that she can un-choose me anytime. But she doesn't. In fact, she re-affirms that choice every single day.

So, here's Day 1 of my public written Valentine to my wife:

Shawna,

Thank you for loving me. I don't deserve you. And I'm amazed every day that you choose to love me. Your love completes me--it's what keeps me alive. I love you deeply--with every ounce of my being.

Thank you for nearly 10 years of marriage, and 11 years of unending love.

With All My Love, Your Husband, Partner and Friend,

PJ

Me In The News

2009-02-04T00:00:00.000-08:00

It's not a review of something I wrote, but it's news nonetheless. I'm quoted today in a news story published on the Drexel University website. I'm one of 28 students selected to be a part of their inaugural MBA cohort at their new Sacramento graduate campus.

Which I haven't told you about, have I?

I decided, last November, to pursue an MBA. It's something I've thought about for awhile, but was always worried I was under qualified; I'm that guy who's afraid of rejection--sometimes to the point where I won't even bother trying something for fear of failure.

But I decided to give it a shot. I registered for the GMAT (the standardized admissions exam that all MBA candidates must take), and actually scored well. I applied--and when it was all said and done, I was accepted with a very sizable scholarship!

As it turns out, I'm going to have an MBA from the number 10 part-time MBA program IN THE NATION for about what it would cost me to get the degree from a public school (like Sac State).

I'm excited, but truth is, the program is part of the reason I've been so sporadic here.

But then you all survived! Guess it's not that bad, huh?

Miss you all...

A Neat Video

2009-02-02T23:17:00.001-08:00

Economic Stimulus...Because I Said So (Shut Up if You Don't Like It).

2009-01-24T22:59:00.000-08:00

White House Press Secretary, Robert Gibbs, said yesterday while discussing President Obama's $1 Trillion economic stimulus package with reporters, that, "there was a lot of agreement in that room about the notion that we're facing an economic crisis unlike we've seen in quite some time...that we must act quickly to stimulate the economy, create jobs, put money back into people's pockets."

He was referring to a meeting that Obama held with key Congressional leaders to discuss the package. Obama is reported to have said, during a verbal interaction with a Republican Congressman who raised some questions about the amount of spending, "I won; I will trump you on that."

He WILL have his way, folks.

Last I checked, he's a representative of you and me, and the American public. As is that Republican Congressman (who was shut down by Obama).

Further, their program does very little to "put money back into people's pockets." Rather, it takes $1 Trillion, and puts it into SOMEBODY ELSE'S pockets.

That's not economic stimulus.

Arghhh...

Happy Birthday Mother!

2009-01-18T17:18:00.000-08:00

A very happy (and, I'm ashamed to say it, belated) birthday to Mother!

She's an incredible Mom--all the way around! And I love her dearly!

And, I'll admit, it took awhile, but I've just about forgiven her for making me wear the horrid elastic waisted, flyless camoflauge pants.

I love you very much Mom, and thank you for being everything you've been!

Hope you had a wonderful birthday, and look forward to taking you for dinner in celebration next time we see you!

Camping Again

2009-01-15T08:33:00.000-08:00

It's that time of year again; the week when I have to travel to that rustic campground on the coast for our company's annual week long meetings (you might recall, I wrote about it last year).

It really is rustic, but I have to say that this year I have a very nice room. It actually has carpet (which is more than I can say for last year's room). And I have it all to myself (I shared last year). Still no in-room Internet or TV, but overall, that's not that bad.

The worst part is being away from home. I tried to convince Shawna to come along (what an incredible place to spend a week together), but she just started a new job, and Alexis and Gentry felt a little uncomfortable staying home alone for an entire week (they said a day or two they can handle, but much longer would be too long).

But it's Thursday; which means I'm headed home tomorrow, and I can't wait. If you can't tell by now, I really don't like business travel.

At any rate, there's quite a lot I have to tell you about. And I haven't forgotten you; I really haven't. There's really no excuse. It's just plain, simple neglect.

Sorry! But stay tuned...

Belief in Santa is a Good Thing

2009-01-06T16:06:00.000-08:00

A wonderfully written article by my friend, Tony Woodlief, over at the Wall Street Journal online. A fantastic read by any measure...

The Holidays Were Great, Thanks for Asking!

2009-01-05T22:23:00.000-08:00

Well, the holiday season is upon us...

Wait: I'm a little behind, aren't I? Let's try again:

Well, the holiday season is suddenly over, and much to my chagrin, I've not told you ANYTHING about ours!

Quell the sudden rush of angst and anticipation: it was a wonderful Christmas and New Years! We had a fantastic few weeks. It was pretty travel intensive, but it turned out to be one of the most relaxing vacations we've ever had.

We spent the Christmas holiday with Shawna's family over at the Central Coast (what a place to spend Christmas, huh?). And--OH! Before I forget, I want to say how thankful I am for my wonderful brother-in-law, Casey. He is always so gracious in allowing us to stay at his home when we visit--and he NEVER let's me forget it! ;-)

Seriously, we really enjoyed our time with Shawna's family. It was one of the best Christmases we've had since we've been married. Lex and Gentry are to that age where they really appreciate being with the family; it seems that they can't get enough! And we've grown very close, it seems, to the family as we've grown older and had children. We had a truly great time. The best thing about our Christmas was the non-traditional Christmas dinner. Sarah (Shawna's sister) cooked her world famous meatloaf (at my request)! Casey wasn't too excited; he'd argued for prime rib (that's what we typically do), but I (for once) won! It was wonderful! Thank you, Sarah! You made MY holiday!

And then it was off to see my side of the family at Camp Arizona. Aunt Ruth and Uncle Greg have been hosting the family gathering every year for the last 8 years, and we've never made it. We weren't planning on going this year either, much to everyone's disappointment. This year EVERYONE was going--even Poppy and Grandma Joyce; we were the only ones who were skipping. Unbeknownst to all (including me, until Christmas) Shawna decided we were going to head out and surprise everyone. So we drove over on Saturday evening, stayed at Ruth and Greg's that night, and surprised Mom and Dad, Deanna and Shane and Tay and Trevin at church on Sunday morning. It was worth it just to see the look on Mom's face (and the tears, I think, in Dad's eye).

And, of course, the endless "thank you for coming's" from Poppy (who, contrary to his typically optimistic nature, kept insisting that this was going to be his "last time to be with his whole family"; how depressing, huh?).

At any rate, we stayed for a very warm and relaxing week. Shawna got to shop; Greg got to unload eight years worth of good-natured (I think) verbal abuse on me; Lex and Gentry got to spend time with all the grandparents, aunts and uncles--as well as Tay and Trevin, Michael and Ashtyn; and we ALL got to spend good quality time with the new family additions--Erica and Caden (both beautiful kids; polar opposites in virtually every way, but incredible kids).

My only regret is that Mother waited until after we left to make her famed rice pudding (she's got some making up to do). On the other hand, I did get to eat some of Grandma Ruth's renowned Texas Sheet Cake, thanks to Aunt Ruth's careful handling of the super top secret recipe (which Grandma apparently handed off in a super top secret ceremony just before her passing).

Between the sheetcake, the family all together for the first time in years, and the late nights playing dominos, it almost felt like holidays past over on Boyd Drive in Kerman. It felt the way a holiday is supposed to feel, I think: more about family and time spent with those you love than about gifts, traveling frantically about the country, and fretting over overdone meals.

So, here's a very heartfelt thank you from Shawna and me, Alexis and Gentry to ALL of our extended family--on the Mohler/Johnson/Corella/Lokey side, AND on the Baglin/Green/Eccles/Amundson/Weidner/Teel/Freeman side: you all made this holiday season the best we've ever had. We love you all deeply, and thank God for you regularly!

Here's to a very happy, healthy, peaceful and prosperous new year!

Oh; I almost forgot: how were your Christmas and New Years?

Economic Woes

2008-12-16T23:18:00.000-08:00

The Federal Reserve Bank today cut it's target interest rate to near zero, a record low for this key indicator. Strategists indicate that it's likely that within the month the Fed will further lower the rates--likely all the way to zero--in order to spur lending in the various frozen credit markets, and might even start buying up long-term treasury securities (a bizarre method of pushing money into a frozen market when the interest rate can't be forced any lower; it's like saying, "we'll loan you money for free; no, wait! We'll PAY you to borrow our money").

In other related news, the stock market, today, showed signs of life again (after eons of bad news--and a net loss of about 1/3 its total value), and actually gained a few percent. Don't hold your breath though.

Home construction starts dropped even lower last quarter--to record lows--and showed no sign of stopping. Unemployment continues to rise; over 2 million jobs have been cut since the beginning of 2008, and there's no sign of a slowdown.

The government continues to pour money into the economy, hoping to inspire lenders to get back into the game (so to speak) after losing their shorts over the past few years.

The federal deficit is at an all time high.

30 year mortgage rates are back into reasonable levels--which is great for all 37 of us Americans who still have a home mortgage; does nothing for the vast numbers of folks who had hopes of buying a home or lost a home in the recent crisis.

In the city I live in, approximately 1 out of 30 homes is in foreclosure.

The State of California is within weeks of insolvency, and borrowing is out of the question; their credit rating has junk status.

And Mervyn's is going out of business.

Which begs the question: how is the government going to survive? Based on the facts above, tax revenues should be down by approximately 387% this year (those are my rough calculations, and are based solely on the quantity of bad economic news being spouted in the media).

Blogojevich has the right idea: boot all the politicians out, and sell their seats to the highest bidder. Pour that cash into the government coffers, and we could probably get rid of the budget deficit and eliminate the national debt in about 2.7 years.

And the folks who buy the seats can't be any less principled than the folks that are there now.

It's a win-win situation, if you ask me.

But nobody ever does.

A Change is Gonna Come

2008-12-08T09:35:00.000-08:00

The political news sources (predominantly liberal) are abuzz with stories of President-elect Obama's apparent departure from the left. His cabinet picks are the latest point of ire; he's stacking his cabinet with moderate Democrats and throwbacks to the Bush administration (like Defense Secretary, Robert Gates).

And then there is his change of heart with respect to a number of crucial issues. He pledged during his campaign to increase taxes on American's making over $250,000; now he's decided that he'll merely let the current tax break expire in 2010. He pledged during his campaign to take on the oil companies, to tax their profits heavily; now he's indicated he won't implement that tax. He indicated during his campaign that he would begin, on his first day in office, to end the war in Iraq; he has now indicated that he will begin to work on a plan for a responsible withdrawal. And he's stacking his cabinet with folks who were openly supportive of the war--Democrats and Republicans alike.

It's a little interesting as a conservative libertarian; is Obama really having a change of heart? Is he tempering his extreme ideas under the realization that his actions have far reaching impact; a major change has the potential to cause our often delicate equilibrium to swing wildly out of control. Perhaps he's second guessing his commitments on the campaign trail. If that's the case, then I have to applaud him; he has more character than I'd given him credit for.

It takes some guts to step back and check yourself in the face of such vocal and vehement opposition (the left-wing bloggers are going crazy, chomping at the bit--I'm waiting to hear the calls for impeachment from his own supporters). But my biggest fear is that this pressure will cause Obama to cave (pressure from voices like John Aravosis over at Americablog.com--you'll remember him; he's the guy who was vociferously calling for a boycott of the State of Utah as well as all contributors to the Yes on 8 campaign here in California. He's a true American, as open-minded as they come, that John).

That can't happen. I don't guess that my reach is nearly as far as Mr. Aravosis' reach, but I have to do my part. Speak out, do your part to show your support for Obama's newfound caution, his new willingness to step back from the dogma we were all subject to during the campaign, and to think through the impact of his actions. His seeming determination to step cautiously, and seemingly, more moderately, than any of us could have hoped. Go to his website and voice your support for this new direction. He's got links there to a variety of methods to contact him; use them. Add a voice in the growing chorus of folks who are crying out in opposition to the bloggers like AmericaBlog and OpenLeft.

And send a link to this post to everyone in your address book. Edmund Burke said it best:

"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing."

Don't be one of the folks who looks back sometime later in life knowing that you were one who did nothing. Speak out; do your part.

More Christmas Pics

2008-12-07T23:30:00.000-08:00

So, I've had, like, a dozen people tell me how much they love the pics that Laura over at B. Artistic posted of us (from our Christmas pics), so when we got the CD in the mail yesterday, and I saw how great the rest of the pics were, I knew that I was going to have to post the rest of them here.

But first I had to post my favorite pics! These ones will go on my desk!

The most beautiful woman in the world! (OMW! Those eyes!)

The chicks dig him already (a problem I never had)

Destined to be a supermodel!

Non-Smoking

2008-12-07T22:27:00.000-08:00

Reuters reported tonight that President elect Barack Obama says he won't be smoking in the White House.

Smoking? How come nobody told me that the guy was a smoker?

Or did they? Maybe I just wasn't listening. At any rate, that's kinda cheap feeling--that our President is a smoker. I don't really know how to explain how it makes me feel, but it's one of those embarrassing little details that you really, really hope that your friends overseas don't find out about.

I don't know. It amazes me that a bigger deal wasn't made of his smoking habit prior to the election. For some weird reason, I feel like if it had been more widely publicized, people would have thought twice about voting for him.

If for no other reason than the guy who is going to be the leader of the free World should be doing everything in his power to maintain a healthy lifestyle.

Imagine our President, four or five years down the road, showing up to a United Nations convention to speak about World Health, in a wheelchair, missing one lung (due to the lung cancer), and toting about an oxygen tank.

It'd make it kinda hard to take the guy serious, you know?

It's even MORE heinous that he was seen numerous time on the campaign trail CHEWING NICOTINE GUM!! (Read the gum story here).

Why'd we vote for this guy again?

Feel-Good Diplomacy

2008-12-03T13:39:00.000-08:00

The Associated Press reported this morning that the US and Russia are the only two nations that have refused to sign a 92 nation ban on the use of cluster bombs. They follow-up by pointing out that even Afghanistan has signed.

The between-the-lines story is that it's morally repugnant that the US won't sign, that even Afghanistan will sign. It's a bit of a despicible story, really. I mean, how often have you read about the US using cluster bombs? I don't know that we ever have. So what useful purpose will our signing such a treaty serve?

Frankly, I find such treaties to be a waste of time, and nothing more than "feel-good" diplomacy. If, in fact, cluster bombs are inhumane, then it stands to reason that a reasonable nation, interested only in protecting their country, will refrain from using them regardless whether they've signed this treaty.

On the other hand, a country (or terrorist group) who couldn't care less about humanitarianism is not likely likely to honor such a ban--whether they've signed or not.

So even if the US signs, has this agreement done anything to make the world a better or safer place? Probably not.

Why don't we forget about the feel-good diplomacy and focus on doing things that really matter?

Family Pics

2008-12-02T19:48:00.000-08:00

We had family photos taken last Saturday. They turned out excellent! We haven't seen them all, but we got a sneak peak on our photographer's blog, B. Artistic Photography, and we're VERY happy with what we've seen so far!

I snuck one of the pictures over here (I hope she doesn't get mad!).

Hop over and take a look. And if you live in California, I HIGHLY recommend B. Artistic!

Thank You, God...

2008-11-27T12:50:00.000-08:00

Thank You, God, for my wife, Shawna. I'm more thankful for her today than I've ever been. She has taught me the meaning of true love. Trust me; we've been married nearly ten years, which is approximately 9 3/4 years longer than I would have stayed married to me.

Thank You, God, for Alexis & Gentry. They are the most precious gifts imaginable. Their unconditional love humbles me. As their father, I've finally begun to understand the depths of Your love for me.

Thank You, God, for my family--parents, sister, brother's in law, nieces and nephews, grandparents, aunts and uncles. I've come to realize that You placed them in my life to help shape me into a better man. Some have taught me by being a stellar example; others have shaped me by forcing me to learn patience (remember the hole in the bathroom wall, Nan?) ;-), but anything I am, anything I become, will be shaded by their continued influences.

Thank You, God, for an incredible network of friends, people who care about me--not about the things I can do, or the good that I can bring to their life, but about me. That's the deepest sort of friendship, a friendship that I've not known much of. But You suddenly dropped a handful of true friends into my life; thank You for that.

And thank You, God, for You. I continue to be amazed that You haven't simply said, "Enough" about me, and sent down a bolt of lightning to rid the world of me.

Other stuff, too, God. Houses and cars; jobs and clothes; abilities and talents; money and reputation; thank you for all of them. They all mean so much. But when I sit down to begin to list out the things I'm thankful for, those things all pale in comparison to the really important things You've blessed me with.

The stuff can be replaced; I know--I've had and lost quite a bit of stuff. But I could never replace the family and friends that You've blessed me with, and I could never replace You. So thank You again.

Happy Thanksgiving, family and friends! You too, mean people who periodically send me nasty emails!

Moron Squared

2008-11-24T10:07:00.000-08:00

They really are morons, the guys (or gals) who keep breaking into my car.

They did it again last Thursday night. It's laughable, really. The last time they got my briefcase (which had a bunch of relatively worthless paper [mostly stuff I'd written], and a few books; nothing fencible), and half the face of my stereo.

Which, incidentally, has forced me to sing to myself during my interminable commute (apparently that half stereo face that the morons ended up with was a pretty vital part; the thing hasn't worked since). I'm kinda getting tired of hearing myself.

I've even started writing creepy songs (pointless songs, really; about slug bugs and big rigs and rubber tires strewn about the interstate). Other drivers have started to steer clear.

But the morons broke into my car again, and guess what they took? The rest of the stereo (which incidentally is destined never to function again; it's pretty much a given). That's it. Nothing else. It's almost like it's a source of twisted professional pride. They were so angry that they could only get 1/2 the stereo last time that they had to come back and prove that they could get the rest.

Which makes for two pieces of stereo that, even together, will never work again.

Bravo to them.

At least they didn't break my window again.

They did, on the other hand, twist off these two little metal pronia's (as my father would call them; the implied definition is: pronia -noun: a little thing for which there is no other acknowledged name, or the name of which has been momentarily forgotten. Example: "Hey PJ; hurry up and bring me that little pronia wouldja?"). I have no idea what they are, and until this morning, I didn't know that they served any practical purpose. They're on the leading edge of the front door windows (both driver and passenger door windows). They just kinda sit there, riding the border between that thin rubber piece and the glass of the window.

But, goodness, are they ever missed.

Apparently, they are used to maintain the driver's sanity. Because without them it sounds as though all the lost souls from a thousand generations are shrieking at the top of their collective inhuman lungs, directly in my ear.

Or maybe like Hurricane Rita has landed in my passenger seat. It's enough to drive you crazy.

Literally.

I'm nearly crazy now (having just entertained the crying souls and the Category 4 tropical storm for the last hour). I feel like one of those rats that you see in those PETA movies; the ones that the researchers have hopped up on crank (or some other psychotropic drug), and then stuck in an industrial strength fish tank. The rats sit there, glassy-eyed, for a while, then commence to flopping about, smacking their bodies against the glass, eyes wide, teeth bared.

Driving in my car at 80 mph down the interstate makes me feel like that. I can't think straight. I jitter, and twitch. I mutter and slobber. I tear at my hair.

Stinkin' morons.

Plus I can't hear myself sing.

Momma Always Told Me There'd Be Days Like This

2008-11-19T09:16:00.001-08:00

The Nazi School of "Enforced Tolerance"

2008-11-14T00:19:00.001-08:00

Blacklisting in the new tolerance.

That's right. I got an email the other day (sometime after my Prop 8 post) telling me that I should be ashamed of myself, that I should be "tolerant".

Apparently what they meant was, "be tolerant OR ELSE." 'Cuz I found this news video online tonight. Then I went to this site and found this lengthy blacklist of folks who donated to the Prop 8 campaign. It's kinda enforced tolerance, if you ask me.

It's a quite effective model, really. You might recognize it; Hitler popularized it a few years back (although HIS blacklist involved Jews, not supporters of Prop 8).

Get my point?

You scared yet? Welcome to the new holocaust.

This is NOT happening in our country.

I EXERCISED MY RIGHT TO VOTE. AND I WILL NOT HANG MY HEAD IN FEAR OF BEING OSTRACIZED FOR IT.

How 'bout you? You gonna take it sitting down?

Remember Hitler? Remember what finally stopped him? It wasn't the "let's give 'em what they want and maybe they'll go away" tactic that Chamberlain tried. Nope. Go study the history. Neville Chamberlain, sat before Hitler and "compromised" (rather, gave in to his demands). Hitler shook his hand, took over Czechoslavakia, and while Chamberlain was proudly proclaiming "peace in our time", Hitler moved on. Moved on to kill over 6 million Jews, 2-3 million Poles, and various other ethnic and religous minorities.

Tell you what, though: it was effective there for quite a while, wasn't it? Wasn't a person in Germany willing to acknowledge association with a Jew.

Fight back, folks. Go over to the blacklist site, and if ANY of those businesses are in your area, if you know ANY of those folks, go frequent their businesses. Visit day after day. And tell everyone you know to do the same. Email this post to everyone in your address book and don't stop until Hitler backs down.

Enough is enough.

Link to the video:
http://cosmos.bcst.yahoo.com/up/player/popup/index.php?cl=10666221

Can't Quit This Job

2008-11-13T17:32:00.000-08:00

I hopped online this evening to spend some time studying for the GMAT (haven't told you about that, have I? More later...), and came across a startling news story. Nebraska recently passed a "safe haven" law designed to limit "dumpster babies".

Many states have the laws and they save babies' lives, I guess, so they're probably a good thing. Basically, they grant automatic immunity to any parent who drops off an unwanted baby at a hospital, police station or fire station (as opposed to the dumpster). We've all heard the stories: "Infant Found Dead In Dumpster: Teenaged Mother Didn't Want To Quit Cheerleading." And while it's despicable that an individual would shirk their parental responsibility and "get rid" of their baby, it's better than tossing them into the garbage can and allowing them to die.

But the Nebraska legislature (in typical lawmaker style) messed up royally. Apparently their deliberations bogged down when they were discussing the wording of the bill: they couldn't decide what the age limit should be (for the record, virtually every state in the Union has a Safe Haven law; all of them limit the immunity to parents who drop off an infant). Nebraska's legislature wanted to be a little more precise, apparently, but they couldn't figure out exactly HOW precise.

So by the time it was all said and done, they settled on "child." Which sounds safe, at least one would think.

It's not.

In the four months that the law has been in effect, 31 children have been dropped off. Of those 31, 18 were teenagers (five 17-year-olds, two 16-year-olds, six 15-year-olds, two 14-year-olds, three 13-year-olds and eight 11 and 12-year-olds).

And one 18-year-old (she was rejected; the mom had to take her home).

A statewide search is on for two teens, a brother and sister, age 14 and 17. They ran away from their mother while she was forcibly trying to remove them fromt her car at the hospital. Can't blame them.

It's unconscionable, if you ask me. Is it possible to simply "get rid of" a child? As horrible as this sounds, I can see a teen mother coming up pregnant with an unwanted child, and rather than aborting it, dropping it off (although, I don't know why they wouldn't simply choose adoption). But what's wrong with a person who has a child, takes a stab at raising them, and then when they realize they've messed up, or decide they're tired of the job, simply quitting?

Talk about some messed-up kids. Teenagers, folks; these are teenagers who are essentially being discarded.

You can't just quit this job! At least a normal person can't. As a parent, I can't even stomach the thought. And one would think that any rational human being would feel the same about their child (yeah, some of the kids were adopted, but I don't see how that matters).

I personally think it's indicative of our society. It reminds me of the story of Lot (from The Bible). If you've never read it, you should. The guy tried to use his two daughters as bargaining chips (and was willing to give them to a group of hormonally charged men to do with as they wished).

It's a pretty terrible place when your children mean so little to you that they take the status of refuse.

God help us.

Just One of Those Days

2008-11-09T19:03:00.000-08:00

How Not To Unload Hundreds of Shopping Carts @ Yahoo! Video

This Should Galvanize You

2008-11-08T00:18:00.000-08:00

Logged on to the Internet when we got home this evening, and two of the top 7 news stories related to protests associated with the passage of Proposition 8 (the constitutional amendment specifying that marriage is classified as a union between one man and one woman).

One of the stories linked to a blog called americablog.com, so I hopped over and, I have to tell you, it woke me up. These folks aren't going to back down.

Go spend a few minutes there. It'll creep you out. These folks aren't going to stop until they've permeated every element of our lives with their lifestyle. I'm more convinced than ever that it's not about "equal rights"; it's about crushing anyone who doesn't accept their lifestyle choices as legitimate.

They're boycotting Utah. That's right; boycotting Utah. Because Mormons contributed some $19 million to the 'Yes on 8' campaign. They're crying out for the Mormons tax exempt status to be pulled (I wonder; I'm a churchgoer. Should my church's tax exempt status be pulled because I contributed and spoke out in favor of 8?). Talk about persecution. This is it.

And the blogger is calling for his readers to search out the largest donors to the 'Yes on 8' campaign, the companies they work for, the businesses they own, and for his readers to boycott those businesses.

And it's not some small time blogger either: he has around 170,000 hits per day.

Go read the hate there. And tell me if it doesn't convince you that they won't stop until your children are indoctrinated with homosexuality as an acceptable lifestyle; that they won't stop until any moral opposition--vocal or subvert--is crushed. Completely.

They aren't resting folks. We can't either.

I don't know how to do this; I've never incited an uprising. But I'm telling you, somebody has to. It may as well be here.

I'm not sure where to go from here, but I'll not stop. And I'm asking you to do the same. Hop on the email and link out to everyone you know. And stay tuned: over the coming days I'll post more, along with a place to begin to donate money for the fight that is coming. They're organizing. They've found their cause, and they're coming together to fight. We must do the same.

And pray. More than anything, pray.

Happy Birthday Bubs!

2008-11-07T08:47:00.000-08:00

Gentry's six today. It's hard to believe, isn't it? It's the same thing that every dad blogger writes about on his son's birthday, but it doesn't seem possible that it was six years ago that I was changing his first diaper (yes, I did change diapers); that I was getting up at 2:30 AM to heat a bottle; that I did that bouncy-on-the-shoulder-while-patting-his-back-and-humming thing to calm his upset stomach and stop him from crying.

It doesn't seem possible that that same little guy is the guy who likes to fish (he cast's better than me); who loves school (he's an incredibly diligent and focused student); and who grasps, at six years old, the impact of even complex political issues.

I was taking him to school on election day, and observant kid that he is, he called out as we turned a corner, "Dad! Those two guhls awe holding "Yes on 8" signs!".

"Yep, they are, Bubs," I replied.

"I know what that means, Dad," he said after a moment.

"What's it mean Bubs?" I asked, curious.

"It's whewe we say that a mawwiage is only with one man and one woman."

I almost cried. "Yep, Bubs. That's exactly what it means."

"And I know what 'No on 8' means too," he went on.

I felt the lump starting to form in my chest. I could barely squeeze out the words: "What's that mean, Bubs?"

"It means that mawwiage could be a man and a man ow a lady and a lady. But God doesn't like that, so weow voting fow 'Yes on 8', wight Dad?"

I almost cried. I can barely stand to be away from them for more than a few hours any more. It seems like they're both developing so fast that I'll likely miss something monumental while gone to work. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't have at least one moment where I sit, heart full, just amazed at some new territory that they've discovered.

I love being a parent.

Thanks for allowing me to wax sappy and nostalgic; I'll try not to do it too often!

In the meantime, join me in wishing the most incredible son in the world a very happy sixth birthday!

Love you Gentry!

For Nate...

2008-11-07T00:47:00.000-08:00

...who only frequents my blog when there are pictures to look at (and only reads the funny section of the newspaper, I think). Love you man! ;-)

Protect Marriage

2008-11-02T14:28:00.000-08:00

I wanted to take a moment to encourage my California readers to vote Yes on Proposition 8 as they head to the polls on Tuesday. I try not to yap about political issues too often (for the most part, politics exhausts and kills valuable brain cells), but Proposition 8 is far too important to ignore.

For those who're not familiar with the proposition, it's entire text is:

"Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid and recognized in California."

That's it; nothing more. For the record, the overwhelming majority of Californians (61%) have already said in a vote on Proposition 22 in 2000 that marriage between a man and a woman should be the only marriage recognized by the state. Unfortunately, four CA Supreme Court judges took it upon themselves to overturn the votes of millions of Californians.

So, I urge you again, get out on Tuesday, and vote Yes on 8. Send emails to all of your friends and acquaintances urging them to do the same.

What's at risk here, you ask? How does this affect me? Consider this: if the State officially recognizes gay marriages, they have already demonstrated a strong proclivity to include education relating to same sex marriage in public school curriculum. Will it affect your children, do you think, to be taught that there's no difference between the "man and wife" relationship, and a "husband and husband" or "wife and wife" relationship? Further, isolated legal skirmishes across the state have already shown that numerous special interest groups are waiting to take on churches who decline to marry homosexuals. The danger is great that our ministers and churches will be legally obligated to provide marriage services to same-sex couples at risk of losing our tax-exempt status or, worse, arrest and prosecution for discrimination.

I'm not one to use fear tactics, but I think that in this case it's inarguable that there are very determined special interest groups out there who are intent on removing any individual or group who expresses any moral opposition, vocal or otherwise, to their personal lifestyles. That scares me. It should scare you too.

And lest you fall into the "equal rights" trap, consider this: California already has some of the most generous same-sex couple benefit laws on the books. That is, same-sex couples--married or otherwise--already have access to most of the health, legal and social benefits that are awarded to married couples. They're not discriminated against in any fashion. This proposition won't limit or eliminate any of that.

So go; do your part. And tell everyone you know to do the same.

Visit http://www.protectmarriage.com/ to learn more.

Time to Live

2008-10-25T00:44:00.000-07:00

"There are people who put their dreams in a little box and say, Yes, I've got dreams, of course I've got dreams. Then they put the box away and bring it out once in awhile to look in it, and yep, they're still there."
-Erma Bombeck

Oh, Chariot

2008-10-18T02:11:00.000-07:00

Ladies and Gentlemen: Mr. Gavin DeGraw

A Book You Say?

2008-10-17T17:48:00.000-07:00

Someone left me a comment or sent me an email (I forget which) last week about writing a book.

I think I still want to do that (although you probably can't tell it by virtue of the fact that you guys are likely starving to death). I don't know why I haven't been writing. Well I HAVE been writing, just not here, and not anything you'd be interested in. But that's not really fair, is it?

Or do you care?

No matter; from the beginning, it hasn't really been about you. Although I'm glad you came. And it's interesting to see that many of you haven't gone away. This probably sounds like another one of those empty promises, and it may well be (you can never tell they're empty when you make them, can you?), but I certainly am going to try to spend a little more time here.

And I'm not going to roll out all the excuses why I've not been here; come to think of it, there really aren't any good ones, so it'd be pointless to try.

Enough rambling. Just rest assured that I'm not yet dead; I haven't forgotten how to write; my Internet hasn't been cut off; I'm not in prison. I just haven't been writing.

But I'll try not to not write.

Or something.

Another World Record Holder!

2008-10-16T19:45:00.000-07:00

This guy is my hero. Not sure why I find this so awesome; perhaps it's because we're kindred spirits: we both have a bizarre--and utterly useless--yet amazing talent (record breaking, to boot).

At any rate, anyone who can eat a burger that big is amazing in my book!

What If?

2008-10-01T22:10:00.001-07:00

This morning I woke up excited. It's my 13th birthday, and a month ago my Dad promised to take me to a football game when I turned 13. I've wanted to go for as long as I can remember. Most of my friends at school have been before--it makes me feel kind of childish that I haven't, but Mom has always said that it's a horrible sport, and "no place for civilized humans, much less a child." I, of course, respond that I'm not a child; I'm a young man. She glares at me.

But today was my day. Dad had promised, and yesterday when he got home from work, I was sitting at the kitchen table doing homework while Mom cooked dinner.

"I got tickets to tomorrow's game for you and me, Trent," he said. "I'm taking the day off work."

"Jack!" my Mom exclaimed, dropping a wooden spoon into the Spanish rice. "You CANNOT take him there!" There was fire in her gaze.

"Hon, he's going to see it sooner or later. The longer we wait, the more dangerous it is," Dad said, that soothing, calm tone in his voice.

Mom just looked at him for a minute, glaring with that look that would, if directed at me, cause my backside to start reddening spontaneously. Then her shoulders slumped, her head dropped to her chest, and she started crying quietly, shoulders heaving as big alligator tears dripped onto the stove top. Dad went over to her and wrapped her in his arms, stroked her hair, and whispered to her. It made me horribly sad, but strangely euphoric. I'm growing up, and Mom's starting to realize it. I hate hurting her, but it feels good to know that they're seeing that I need to start making my way into adulthood.

When Dad woke this morning, I was dressed and waiting in the living room.

"Happy Birthday, bud!"

"Thanks. You gonna get ready for the game?" I asked.

"Why don't you eat some cereal while I drink my coffee and shower," he said.

"Already ate," I replied. "How long 'til you'll be ready? We don't want to be late!"

He came over and sat down next to me. "Trent, I know you're excited, but trust me: the game won't start without us, OK?"

I nodded. He smiled at me for a moment. The smile made my chest swell with pride, and my eyes threaten to spill for some odd reason. He shook his head, swallowed, got up and moved back to their bedroom without another word.

We took his truck into the city. Mom wouldn't let us leave until he showed her that our tickets were in the family section of the Coliseum. "If he has to go, he has to go. But he DOESN'T have to sit with those uncivilized cretins." She packed us a light lunch, we loaded up and took off.

The Coliseum was packed out. The feeling was electrifying, hearing the crowd roar, and feeling that electric energy crackle across the stands, fans leaning forward to catch a glimpse of their team as they readied to come out onto the field. My heart was pounding before I sat down; by kickoff, I could barely breathe.

Dad sat quietly next to me, watching me, smiling lightly when I looked over to him.

It was an amazing game; both teams fought hard. The score was tied 13-13 until the last 20 seconds of the game when the opposing team fumbled the ball on the 37 yard line, and our linebacker grabbed it and ran it in for a touchdown.

The crowd exploded! Fans were jumping and screaming. The player who fumbled the ball slumped to the ground, shaking. It looked like he was crying. His teammates stood on the field, stunned and dejected. One guy started screaming, and ran toward the locker room. A guard blocked his way and he fell to the ground, head in hands.

There was a lot of celebrating on the field as the final buzzer sounded; all I could hear was a dull roar in my ears as the stands rumbled with the shouts and pounding feet of overexcited fans.

Then a sudden hush came over the crowd.

"They say the commissioner has no mercy," I heard a guy beside me mutter to a friend.

"What's happening, Dad?" I asked, uncertain.

"Shh. Just watch," he whispered.

Then a somber guy in a black suit who looked vaguely familiar was shown on the huge game screen above the stadium. He stood for a moment, glaring out at us as we craned to watch this strange turn of events. The he slowly extended his right arm, fist closed, thumb straight out to the side, and held it almost directly in front of the camera.

The crowd shifted as one, moving to the edge of their seats. Nobody was breathing. I looked up at my Dad; he was staring intently at the screen mouthing something under his breath. It sounded like, "No; please, no."

And as the Commissioner's thumb began it's slow arc downward, I heard my Dad gasp, "Oh God, No!" And then the crowd exploded again.

"What is this, Dad?" I asked, panicking a little.

He looked at me; his eyes were tearing up. "Bud, we're going to stay here because you need to understand something," he said.

"Dad!" I cried out, alarmed. My Dad never cries.

"They're prisoners, Trent," he said. "All of the players are prisoners. They practice for months for this one game. If they win, they're sent back to live the rest of their lives comfortably, their families with them there at the prison. If they lose, then the Commissioner decides their fate."

"What do you mean," I asked, staring down at the field as a slough of guards ushered the jubilant winning team off the field. The losing players were clamoring at the guards, trying to rush past toward the open gates there on the sunken field. Every time a losing player got too near the gate, a guard with a stun gun would zap him and he'd fall to the field, shaking.

Dad was crying openly now. "They're Christians bud. They were thrown into prison for being Christians. And now they're going to open that gate over there," he pointed across the field, "and release lions. And these...these people are going to cheer while those lions attack and maul losing team. Because they got a 'thumbs down' from that evil man up there."

I gaped up, uncomprehending. "I...I...Dad?" I stammered, as I heard the gate clang, and the roar of the crowd intensified. I glanced down as a huge lion bounded out of the open gate, directly at the last victim of the guards stun gun, as he twitched, trying to get his paralyzed arms underneath him. Just as the lion took his final leap, Dad bundled me up, covered my face with his enormous hand, and pulled me out of my seat, toward the exit.

I cried silently all the way home. Dad cried next to me in the drivers seat.

"Why?" I asked. He just looked over at me and shook his head.

Mom was sitting in the kitchen, head in hands when I walked into the house. She watched as I climbed the stairs and went into my room. I climbed into bed and lay, weeping silently, staring at the ceiling. She came in a while later.

She sat on the edge of my bed, hands in her lap, and looked down at me. After a bit, she spoke.

"Trenton. That's why we don't tell anyone where we go on Sunday's; it's why we park around the block, and walk up the alley to get to church. And it's why you're not allowed to talk about church with your friends at school. What we're doing is illegal, and if we're ever caught, that will be your father playing on that field someday, fighting for his life."

I cried.

She finally leaned down and hugged me.

Politics

2008-09-29T01:53:00.000-07:00

A telling video...sent to me by my good friend Doug.

A Few Useful Definitions

2008-09-12T00:58:00.000-07:00

mo·ron -noun

the stupid idiots who just broke into my car (sitting quietly in my driveway), stole a worthless briefcase with 300 or so sheets of boring paper (mostly doodles of scarecrows and Neptune from various meetings at work...don't ask), bungled around with my stereo (it's still there, but I don't think it's going to be playing CD's anytime soon), and left my debit card sitting in the center console.

neigh·bor·ly -adjective

the guy from down the street who had a midnight hankering for a cigarette (shame on him; yay for me), stepped out into his front yard, and saw moron (see above), legs sticking through the broken rear window, wrestling with the car stereo. After running in to grab his keys, he drove down the street in an attempt to grab the moron(s). Unfortunately, they were (surprise) sharp enough to realize that this would not be advantageous to their budding criminal careers, so they grabbed my (worthless) briefcase, jumped into their waiting getaway car (a small white SUV; foreign--Honda or Toyota. If you see one, drop me an email), and took off. He (the neighbor; not the moron) rang my doorbell, which scared the living patooey out of me (it was midnight), and told me all about it. Good guy, that neighbor.

sleep·less -adjective

my house, tonight. I have my rifle--replete with sniper scope--out; I'm dressed out in soldier of fortune camo, and am camping out on my garage roof. If those varmints return, I'm gonna be ready.

It doesn't help that I've got an early morning meeting an hour away tomorrow. I've got to make the drive minus one window, and without any music, a book on CD--anything.

They police came out and snooped around a bit. They had a crime scene tech come out and take some fingerprints. I'm a little concerned because the only prints they got were from the inside of the rear passenger window--right where my kids sit. I just know that poor Lex and Gentry are going to go into some criminal database somewhere; I hope they never decide they want a career in national security. They're doomed.

SheGazelle: I guess this counts as a visit from Murphy, huh?

Rat Meat Inflation

2008-08-27T22:51:00.000-07:00

I was checking the news online this evening and found a story that really troubled me. The headline, "Price of rat meat in Cambodia quadruples as inflation bites", caused my stomach to clench. The story itself was worse.

The Cambodian per capita annual income, according to 2point6billion.com, a news forum dedicated to Chinese, Indian and Asian trade, is somewhere in the neighborhood of $1,000 US. To put this in perspective, the average annual income in the US is around $36,600, which means we in the United States make around 36 1/2 times what a Cambodian makes.

To be fair, things cost less in Cambodia; according to globalpropertyguide.com, on the average, an item costing about $1.00 here in the US would cost about .16 cents in Cambodia. Basically things cost six times more here than they do in Cambodia. Which, for a moment, allows you to breathe a little easier.

But let's break the numbers down a bit further. If the average American makes 36 1/2 times what the average Cambodian makes, but that same American pays 6 times the amount the Cambodian does in order to live, is there a so-called "wealth-gap"?

Imagine that you're one of those average American wage earners. You make $36,600 per year (not a substantial living, to be sure, but an average American one, according to the statistics). You pay today's prices for everything you buy. Now imagine that tomorrow you go into work, and you're called into the office and told that, due to low profitability, your wages got cut to $5,000 per year; you still work the same number of hours doing the same job, but for this new wage.

Your stuff all still costs the same amount. Fuel is still $4 a gallon; the milk prices haven't dropped; it's still $6 for a Big-Mac Extra Value meal at McDonalds. You just make 1/6 the amount of money you're accustomed to.

How does it feel? Can you live? The most recent census places the poverty level for a family of four at about $20,000 of income per year. Your $5,000 doesn't get you much. Tack onto that inflation of 37% per year, and now you're starting to feel what it's like to live in Cambodia.

You kill rats in order to feed your family. And if you're entrepreneurial, you kill many rats, and sell them to other hungry people wanting to feed their families.

I have no intention of turning MyndFood into a social diatribe (although many of you, I'm sure, are wondering what my intentions ARE for MyndFood; more to come on that. I will say, stick close if you're interested in reading installment two of "The Funeral". There's also a contest coming, so check back frequently). But this is, after all, intended to be your favorite online eatery, and occasionally, you should be fed something weighty, and full of protein--something that requires some work to digest, and perhaps a little pain. This is one of those meals.

In recent years we've all read the stories of American companies relocating manufacturing operations to any of a number of Asian countries. Horror stories of 11 year-old girls slaving away making shoes for .19 cents per day get half of us fired up about "wicked, greedy American business"; the other half of us applaud, perhaps crudely AND cruelly, the ingenuity of American business. And both sides have their arguments--all reasonable and well-thought out. The "business is evil" group says that we Americans have a moral obligation to not take advantage of underprivileged citizens of other countries; we have a minimum wage, and laws pertaining to lawful working age and acceptable working conditions; those laws should apply to ANY operation, no matter the country it's located in. The "hooray for big business" folks say things like, "the business makes more money, and I save a little bit on my shoes, so the government gets more in taxes, and can turn around and distribute that to needy folks all over the world." Or, even more radical, the argument that says that our government is bailing out poor countries all over the place; why should we help?

Valid arguments, all, but each a little extreme. I, for one, feel that we DO have an obligation to treat other countries fairly. NOT to make them wealthy, but neither to take advantage of them. There's a problem when countries have masses of their population actively hunting rats to eat. It's not our problem to fix mind you; I don't think we (the US government) needs to jump in and save the day. But if our companies go there to do business, we should compensate the employees there--not at the income levels THEY'RE used to, but at the proportional income levels we see here. They're used to utter poverty; and so we justify paying them wages that do nothing more than perpetuate poverty. What's the Cambodian (cost of living adjusted) equivalent to our current minimum wage? Somewhere around $1.25 per hour. Wouldn't that wage still prove a windfall for an American business? Yet wouldn't it also be like winning the lottery for some Cambodian who has historically made less than .25 cents per hour?

I don't know that there are enough American businesses in disadvantaged Asian countries to make much of a different, but I'd like to think that if those that were there were operating with any sort of social conscience, they'd be operating as I've described, and perhaps there'd be fewer stories about inflation in the price of rat meat.

Customer Support

2008-08-20T02:31:00.000-07:00

Our internet service provider, Comcast. has an online tech support system. You log on and some techie (in India, I'll bet) logs on, and chats with you (via some chat room thing on their site). I'm having a problem with our service, so I had to try to use it tonite. Below is my entire conversation, transcribed (with no modifications whatsoever).

>>>Beginning of Conversation

user Paul_ has entered room

Paul(Wed Aug 20 05:07:01 PDT 2008)>cannot connect more than one comp through wireless connection; freezes the modem.analyst

Pearl has entered room

Pearl(Wed Aug 20 05:07:07 PDT 2008)>Hello Paul_, Thank you for contacting Comcast Live Chat Support. My name is Pearl. Please give me one moment to review your information.

Pearl(Wed Aug 20 05:07:13 PDT 2008)>Hi there! How are you doing?

Paul_(Wed Aug 20 02:07:17 PDT 2008)>good. how r u?

Pearl(Wed Aug 20 05:07:40 PDT 2008)>Glad to hear that.I am doing fine, as well. Thank you for asking.

Pearl(Wed Aug 20 05:07:55 PDT 2008)>Paul, may I know if your router comes from Comcast?

Paul_(Wed Aug 20 02:08:00 PDT 2008)>yes. it did.

Paul_(Wed Aug 20 02:08:10 PDT 2008)>im sry. u mean the cable modem?

Pearl(Wed Aug 20 05:08:12 PDT 2008)>Thank you.

Pearl(Wed Aug 20 05:08:19 PDT 2008)>No, the router.

Paul_(Wed Aug 20 02:08:25 PDT 2008)>oh. no. it didnt.

Pearl(Wed Aug 20 05:09:17 PDT 2008)>I see. Have you tried to bypass the router by connecting the modem directly to one PC to check if the router is the issue?

Paul_(Wed Aug 20 02:10:04 PDT 2008)>the router isn't the issue. I'm connected directly through the modem now, but the whole setup works great as long as there's only a single computer trying to access the net.

Paul_(Wed Aug 20 02:10:11 PDT 2008)>i've been using it for two months that way

Paul_(Wed Aug 20 02:10:22 PDT 2008)>but we just got another computer, and it won't work now.

Paul_(Wed Aug 20 02:10:37 PDT 2008)>i also purchased another router today and tried that

Paul_(Wed Aug 20 02:10:47 PDT 2008)>same results. either one or the other computer will work

Pearl(Wed Aug 20 05:11:01 PDT 2008)>Have you configure the router before you connect it to the modem?

Paul_(Wed Aug 20 02:11:00 PDT 2008)>but as soon as i try to get on with the second comp, it freezes the modem.

Paul_(Wed Aug 20 02:11:15 PDT 2008)>yes. as i said, it works fine, until I add the second computer

Pearl(Wed Aug 20 05:11:15 PDT 2008)>Have you configured the router?Paul_(Wed Aug 20 02:11:20 PDT 2008)>then the modem freezes.

Paul_(Wed Aug 20 02:11:26 PDT 2008)>yes i have configured it.

Pearl(Wed Aug 20 05:12:22 PDT 2008)>Please try to check first if the modem will work without a router. If it will allow the computer to work without a router then compare the results.

Paul_(Wed Aug 20 02:12:50 PDT 2008)>yes. as I said, i'm working directly through the modem now; no router.

Paul_(Wed Aug 20 02:12:53 PDT 2008)>so that works.

Pearl(Wed Aug 20 05:13:11 PDT 2008)>Then it is verified that there is a problem with the router.

Paul_(Wed Aug 20 02:13:15 PDT 2008)>nope.

Paul_(Wed Aug 20 02:13:35 PDT 2008)>because i can plug the router in, and work online just fine with only one computer.

Paul_(Wed Aug 20 02:13:39 PDT 2008)>so the router works great.

Pearl(Wed Aug 20 05:13:54 PDT 2008)>If the router will work fine, Paul, it should allow another PC to connect after you connect the router to your modem.

Paul_(Wed Aug 20 02:13:55 PDT 2008)>as soon as I try the second computer, the MODEM freezes (the router continues working)

Paul_(Wed Aug 20 02:14:03 PDT 2008)>I agree...it should.

Paul_(Wed Aug 20 02:14:05 PDT 2008)>but it doesnt

Paul_(Wed Aug 20 02:14:08 PDT 2008)>so...

Paul_(Wed Aug 20 02:14:11 PDT 2008)>we have a problem.

Paul_(Wed Aug 20 02:14:24 PDT 2008)>with the modem.

Pearl(Wed Aug 20 05:15:10 PDT 2008)>May I know what made you say that there is a problem with the modem if it is allowing it has a connection?

Paul_(Wed Aug 20 02:15:20 PDT 2008)>ok...

Pearl(Wed Aug 20 05:15:36 PDT 2008)>I mean if it is allowing the other PC to connect.

Paul_(Wed Aug 20 02:15:38 PDT 2008)>the modem freezes as soon as a second computer tries to get out on the net

Paul_(Wed Aug 20 02:15:50 PDT 2008)>i can still see both computers through the router...

Paul_(Wed Aug 20 02:16:02 PDT 2008)>i just can't get out onto the net

Paul_(Wed Aug 20 02:16:38 PDT 2008)>does that make sense?

Pearl(Wed Aug 20 05:17:08 PDT 2008)>Allow me to explain.

Paul_(Wed Aug 20 02:17:12 PDT 2008)>ok

Pearl(Wed Aug 20 05:18:28 PDT 2008)>The modem will provide connection to the PC. If there is a router, the signals will go through the router before it reaches the PCs. If the PC is not able to get a connection when you connect it through a router then the router is not giving enough signals to the PC, right?

Pearl(Wed Aug 20 05:18:51 PDT 2008)>Make sure that all the cable wires are plug in.

Paul_(Wed Aug 20 02:18:54 PDT 2008)>i DO GET A CONNECTION through the router though...thats my point. I have been for two months

Pearl(Wed Aug 20 05:19:25 PDT 2008)>But you are not getting a connection but can connect with just the modem?

Paul_(Wed Aug 20 02:19:38 PDT 2008)>yes. I ALSO have a connection when I connect through just the modem.

Paul_(Wed Aug 20 02:19:47 PDT 2008)>THE PROBLEM is that i now have TWO COMPUTERS

Paul_(Wed Aug 20 02:19:59 PDT 2008)>and when the SECOND computer tries to connect, the modem crashes

Paul_(Wed Aug 20 02:20:13 PDT 2008)>NOT the router

Paul_(Wed Aug 20 02:20:38 PDT 2008)>(i have two routers, and I've tried them both independently tonite, with the SAME exact results, so the problem HAS to be the modem)

Pearl(Wed Aug 20 05:21:31 PDT 2008)>Okay, if you insist I will send a technician over to fix the modem which comes from Comcast to be able to check this on your end.

Pearl(Wed Aug 20 05:21:47 PDT 2008)>Will that work for you?

Paul_(Wed Aug 20 02:22:03 PDT 2008)>I'm not "insisting" anything...if you'd rather, we can just cancel the service, and I can go with another provider...

Paul_(Wed Aug 20 02:22:14 PDT 2008)>I'm simply saying that the modem has an issue...

Paul_(Wed Aug 20 02:22:27 PDT 2008)>and I've verified that against two routers

Pearl(Wed Aug 20 05:22:45 PDT 2008)>Paul, please understand here in chat there are certain limitations.

Pearl(Wed Aug 20 05:23:13 PDT 2008)>We do have tools that is currently monitoring the status of the PC.

Pearl(Wed Aug 20 05:23:18 PDT 2008)>I mean the modem.

Paul_(Wed Aug 20 02:23:25 PDT 2008)>okPearl(Wed Aug 20 05:23:50 PDT 2008)>I have seen here that the modem status is fine and it is getting enough signals on our server.

Pearl(Wed Aug 20 05:24:33 PDT 2008)>Let me try to ping the modem to further check it here.

Pearl(Wed Aug 20 05:24:45 PDT 2008)>Here is the result.

Pearl(Wed Aug 20 05:24:47 PDT 2008)>PING 73.77.144.111: 64 data bytes
72 bytes from 73.77.144.111: icmp_seq=0. time=54.6 ms
72 bytes from 73.77.144.111: icmp_seq=1. time=54.9 ms
72 bytes from 73.77.144.111: icmp_seq=2. time=54.6 ms
72 bytes from 73.77.144.111: icmp_seq=3. time=53.4 ms
72 bytes from 73.77.144.111: icmp_seq=4. time=54.7 ms
----73.77.144.111 PING Statistics----
5 packets transmitted, 5 packets received, 0% packet loss
round-trip (ms) min/avg/max/stddev = 53.4/54.4/54.9/0.59

Paul_(Wed Aug 20 02:24:52 PDT 2008)>the modem is fine now because i only have a single computer connected to it

Paul_(Wed Aug 20 02:25:28 PDT 2008)>in order to demonstrate the problem, I'll have to connect the router and the second computer; unfortunately that'll end our conversation

Paul_(Wed Aug 20 02:25:30 PDT 2008)>so...

Pearl(Wed Aug 20 05:26:29 PDT 2008)>Yes, please do that is the only way that we can check and verify the real cause of this. Make sure to Powercycle everything once you have connected the router before turning everything on.

Paul_(Wed Aug 20 02:27:00 PDT 2008)>im going to lose you...how do I get back to you?

Pearl(Wed Aug 20 05:27:42 PDT 2008)>I may not be able to assist you once you chat back however you can inform the next agent who will handle you regarding the steps that we have done from here.

Paul_(Wed Aug 20 02:27:50 PDT 2008)>we haven't done anything

Pearl(Wed Aug 20 05:28:17 PDT 2008)>When you powercycle the modem please do not forget to unplug the modem for a minute or two.

Paul_(Wed Aug 20 02:28:35 PDT 2008)>yes; i know. i've had to do it like 30 times tonite...

Pearl(Wed Aug 20 05:28:33 PDT 2008)>Then re-insert cable modem plug into electrical outlet. Allow cable modem 30 seconds to initialize before starting computer.

Paul_(Wed Aug 20 02:28:42 PDT 2008)>ok...

Paul_(Wed Aug 20 02:28:55 PDT 2008)>thanks.

Pearl(Wed Aug 20 05:29:15 PDT 2008)>You are welcome.

Pearl(Wed Aug 20 05:29:26 PDT 2008)>So are we now set to go from here?

Paul_(Wed Aug 20 02:29:30 PDT 2008)>sure.

Paul_(Wed Aug 20 02:29:32 PDT 2008)>thanks.

Pearl(Wed Aug 20 05:29:53 PDT 2008)>You are welcome.

Pearl(Wed Aug 20 05:29:59 PDT 2008)>We are here for you 24 hours a day 365 days a year! To learn more about your services and find answers to many questions, please visit our FAQ pages: http://help.comcast.net/

Pearl(Wed Aug 20 05:30:07 PDT 2008)>Analyst has closed chat and left the roomanalyst Pearl has left room

>>>End of Conversation.

I give up...

It's A Crisis!

2008-08-07T10:22:00.001-07:00

Our city only has one taco truck. I know this because I've investigated it.

The good news is that this particular taco truck happens to be the best taco truck in the nation (I know this because I've eaten--and been blessed with a wide variety of digestive maladies--at many of them).

It also happens to be permanently parked (why wouldn't they just rent a restaurant?) on the extreme opposite corner of town. It sits in the parking lot of an adult bookstore, which always makes me feel a little awkward when going to get a taco. I'm never quite sure when going to grab a bite whether I should park in an inconspicuous location, or park right out in front where everyone can see me.

At any rate, I was thinking about the taco truck the other day. We were readying to go visit Shawna's family for a few days, and Shawna was complaining about having to pack all of our considerable accoutrement's into the trunk of our comfortable (but admittedly cramped when full of all of our stuff) family sedan. She was lamenting the absence of her beloved, oversized SUV (which we sold a few months ago). And I realized that there is a problem.

I can get three tacos at this taco truck of mine for a dollar. If we still owned the gas-guzzling SUV, it would cost me more in fuel to drive to the taco truck than it would cost me to eat. That's wrong. I'm not old, but I have been driving for awhile. When I got my license twelve years ago, gas hovered at around .95 cents a gallon. In twelve years, the price of gas has risen by nearly %500, a fantastic investment by any account, seeing as how, generally my investments appreciate, on average, at about -7.7 % per year.

I should have bought a bunch of gas when I got my license.

I think, though, that necessity is truly the mother of invention. If nothing else, these prices are a good thing in that they're causing entrepreneurial, inventive people to come up with brilliant ideas, alternatives to paying $5 a gallon for fuel.

And it's great for the people that make Smart Cars; Shawna told me that she heard that there's a two year wait list for purchasing the things.

But I'm talking about something bigger than just little cars.

Things like moving sidewalks (like they have at the airport); you can jump on to go grab some lunch. It's faster than walking, and costs almost nothing. Or maybe new cities can be planned with canals instead of roads (like Venice). Instead of driving to the supermarket or the taco truck, you can jump in a gondola and take a ride down the canal.

My favorite is virtual entertainment. For example, I envision Disney creating a virtual Disneyland that you can buy and load up on your Wii (assuming you have a widescreen and surround sound, and the rumble pack that goes under your couch leg), and ride "It's A Small World" right there in your living room.

What do you think? What are your ideas for mitigating the "Gas Is Atrocious!" crisis?

Seven Amazing Years!

2008-07-24T00:07:00.000-07:00

Alexis is 7!

It seems like just yesterday that my little girl was born, yet so long ago. The little girl who I used to warm bottles for at 2 AM, who peed through her diaper all over the church pew when I was watching her (that one got me in a little trouble), who wore those huge colored bows--that same little girl is now begging for a cell phone, reads like a champ, wants her own email address, and is up on all the latest fashions (and, of course, has to have them all).

And she has a heart of gold. Truly unconditional love, and I'm eternally grateful to have a daughter who understands and epitomizes that.

Happy Birthday Alexis! I'm so proud to be your daddy--prouder than I am of ANY other accomplishment. You and your brother are the best things that I've ever been a part of!

I love you!

Wal-Mart: Retail Hell

2008-07-22T03:58:00.001-07:00

Saturday afternoon we went to a birthday party for a friend of Gentry and Lex. It was at a park across town, and the kids were excited because there was going to be a bounce house and a pinata.

We got there right on time, but the party was running a little behind schedule. Our friend, the birthday boy's mother, was running around frantically trying to get things organized, and still had to run across town to pick up her husband (temporarily incapacitated due to a foot surgery), and then run back to Wal-Mart across town to pick up the birthday cake.

I, being the nice guy that I am, offered to pick up the cake. Our friend looked up at me, disbelief and hope alternating across her face. "Would you really?" she asked, incredulous.

"Sure. I'll run over and get it. Don't worry about it, OK?"

She almost cried with relief.

I hate Wal-Mart. I'd forgotten how bad I hate Wal-Mart. I'll never forget again.

To be fair, I was already in a bit of a mood by the time I arrived. Wal-Mart is at the opposite corner of town, accessible only via surface streets. Streets jam-packed full of other motorists (all, I would soon learn, ALSO going to Wal-Mart), and littered with traffic signals, all of which were programmed to turn red anytime my car was within 50 feet. It took me a good 20 minutes to make the 5 mile trip, and by the time I parked and got out of the car, I was looking for something to break up into tiny little pieces and then stomp under my feet.

I'm proud to say that I showed some restraint (actually, it was less restraint than it was fear, in that the last time I gave in to that urge, I grabbed an envelope out of the center console of the car and enthusiastically demolished it while Shawna and the kids watched curiously. When I had finally tired and stopped, Shawna asked: "Why didn't you take your paycheck out before you did that?").

I walked into the store, and stopped abruptly. I was surprised to find that, apparently, they had chosen that day to perform American Idol tryouts in our local Wal-Mart (nowhere else have I ever seen such an enormous mass of uniquely strange, and fearsomely intense, people all in one place, all generally acting like giddy fools). Oh, but if it had only been American Idol tryouts; then I would only have had to face the harsh verbal abuse of Simon Cowell. Instead I was forced to face the horrible wrath of Bertha and her Brutal Band of Bakers.

You see, I'd forgotten to grab the receipt for the birthday cake; apparently that's one of the ten commandments of cake buying: thou shalt ALWAYS bring your receipt when you come to pick up the cake.

"Um...I don't have the receipt," I told Bertha when she came out to help me. I told her the name it was under.

Her eyes grew wide, clenched fists went to her hips, and she rose to her full 7'2", glaring spitefully at me. "YOU....DON'T....HAVE....YOUR....BAKERY....SLIP?!?!?!" she bellowed.

"Uh...no ma'am, but I can tell you--"

"SILENCE!" she roared. "YOU WILL TELL ME ONLY WHAT YOU'RE ASKED TO TELL ME! Now, what is your name?"

"Well, MY name is PJ Green," I replied, "But it's not under my name."

"Well how do I know you aren't here to steal this poor kid's transformer cake?" she questioned.

"Uh, because it hasn't been paid for? And whether it's mine or not, I'm still going to have to pay for it. Besides, I know the name it's under; how probable is that if I'm just some random cake thief?"

She glared at me for a moment, then, grumbling, waddled back to the refrigerator, and disappeared into it for about five minutes. Finally (after consenting to a check of my ID, and allowing one of Bertha's minions to take a photocopy of it--in the event the true owner of the cake decided to press charges were I to steal the cake), I was on my way to the front of the store to check out.

Every single checkout stand was open. And every single one of them looked like the Wal-Mart return line on the day after Christmas. I picked the shortest line I could find--which happened to be an "Express-Less Than 20 Items" line (for what it's worth, technically it should have said "Fewer Than 20 Items", but I don't know that Mr. Walton's faithful patrons care all that much whether or not his sign designers are grammatically correct).

Twenty minutes later, the end was in sight. I was the third in line, and the lady at the register was almost finished; soon I'd be second. The guy in front of me had only one small container from the deli (his lunch, I presume), so I was already practicing the slow, calming breaths that I would need to bring myself back to a sane state of consciousness.

Just as the lady checking out was almost finished, I saw the guy in front of me (the one holding his lunch) look over his shoulder and beckon to someone behind me. Calling them up to join him at the register--presumably to add to his one item checkout collection. I was frustrated, but too tired--and much too close to the check stand--to fight it at that point. I leaned back against the candy stand, packages of Reese's Pieces and Ring-Pop's falling to the floor, closed my eyes, and just breathed, calming myself.

Then a collective groan went up all around me. My eyes popped open, I looked around, and fell to the floor in utter, hopeless defeat.

The lunch guy in front of me hadn't beckoned back to his wife, holding a loaf of bread and a gallon of milk; it wasn't to his kid, wanting to add a package of Airheads to the purchase; it wasn't some friend wanting to get back to his party with his 12-pack of Bud Lite.

It was a Wal-Mart employee; two employees as a matter of fact, each pulling a laden pallet-jack, a pallet full of Gatorade on each.

1,440 individual bottles of Gatorade, to be exact. I know. Because they counted each one. Twice.

I'll admit, I don't understand society: we're so forgiving. A man pulls up to the "20 Items or Less" express lane with 1,441 items, and we sit patiently (or impatiently, yet quietly submissive), waiting for him to finish. We don't cause an uproar; we don't toss down our respective birthday cakes and fishing poles and fresh-baked bread and jars of peanut butter, and stalk out of the store, forever decrying the mismanagement, and pledging never to return to a Wal-Mart.

No; we grumble and complain amongst ourselves (quietly, though, because we don't want the offender to hear us), and wait our turn. And, next week when we need pretzels or Diet Pepsi or Cheez Whiz, we haul ourselves back down to retail hell, and brave the insane crowds, and brazen, Express-line-rule-defying jerks. And why? Because they have "Always the low prices...Always!"

When you think about it, we're doing old Mr. Walton's grand kids a huge disservice by NOT revolting. It's the free-market folks; Wally-world, along with every other retail establishment in the nation, depends on us to send them messages regarding their performance. Decreased business tells the business decision makers that customers are dissatisfied, and change must come. But, no: we sell our souls, or principles, for a few measly cents off a dozen eggs; for a car battery that's $3 cheaper than anywhere else; for a t-shirt that's $4 cheaper than anywhere else.

You ought to be ashamed of yourselves. If only YOU people had listened to your conscience the last time you had a miserable experience at Wal-Mart, if only YOU had stopped going, maybe they would have heard us by now.

Then I wouldn't have had to deal with them.

Can somebody start a protest?

My Only Hope

2008-07-19T23:46:00.000-07:00

We were in Target tonight looking around for gifts for Lex (it's her birthday on Thursday; she's going to be seven). Gentry had his eye on a toy, and, as usual, was building his case.

"Dad," he said as we walked down an aisle, "have we been good today?"

"Well, Bubs, you did whine quite a bit today."

"OK; but," Lex chimed in, "for example: were we kind today? Did we share with others? THAT'S what he's talking about."

I chuckled. She's having a tough time learning to ride a bike. Bubs has it down pat; he's extremely coordinated and athletic, like his mother. Lex is like me. I think I was six before I learned to ride a bike; I was picked last on every sporting team in elementary school; I still can't catch.

But she's sharp. I think she might be destined to be a politician. I choose, now, not to engage her, because she's developed multiple lines of circular reasoning that even I have a hard time arguing against. So I head her off at the pass. I imagine, if I'd chosen to respond affirmatively to her "for example" tonight in Target, she would have went on to point out how, as well-behaved children, they ought to be rewarded in some small way (a candy bar, perhaps).

They amaze me in so many little ways. Gentry, for example, grabbed a greeting card off the shelf in Target tonight, hid it behind his back, and said, "Dad. Do you know what's on this cawd?"

"No. What is it Bubs?" I responded.

"You have to guess."

"Um...is it a...chicken?"

"Daaaddeeee!" he laughed, throwing his head back like he does, as if I've just said the most humorous thing he's ever heard.

He pulled the card out from behind his back.

"It's a CUCUMBOW," he said, holding out a card shaped like a pickle.

A cucumber. I can never remember whether a pickle is made from a cucumber or a zucchini. But he knows. I know it's not a huge deal, but it's those little jolts of surprise that make parenting the joy that it is.

It's the little indicators that, despite all your failings and insecurities; despite your feelings of hopeless inadequecy, they still are developing. And they're developing well.

I took most of those pictures in the slideshow at the bottom of the prior post. I sat there in that audience, and I felt that feeling, that indescribable feeling.

It's hope. It's you looking at what you've made of you, at all the dreams that haven't yet become a reality, at the poor choices you've made, at the stupid misakes you've made. And then looking up, to see Lex singing:

"You're my brother, you're my sister;
So take me by the hand..."

in the microphone, looking out, squinting at the spotlights, trying to make sure I'm watching.

Or Gentry, singing by himself in the microphone for the first time ever:

"When we all pull togethow, togethow, togethow;
When we all pull togethow, how happy we'll be.
Fow youw wook is my wook; and ouw wook is God's wook.
When we all pull togethow, how happy we'll be!"

at the top of his lungs.

And realizing, as you look up and see them there, that maybe--just maybe--you might have got THIS just a little bit right because it seems to be working. And maybe it's OK that I didn't quite get it all exactly right; if I can just make sure I get THIS right, then I'll be happy. Because I can help them become everything that lies dormant inside them.

I sat there, and something inside my chest swelled up into my throat, and I couldn't breathe, and tears came to my eyes. Not because it was "so cute", although it was. But because I'm getting it; I'm teaching them right, showing them the right paths. And they're going down them.

It's one of my few consistent prayers: God, help me continue to get it right. They're my only hope.

VBS

2008-07-19T00:41:00.000-07:00

This week was Vacation Bible School here at the new church. It's a massive church, far larger than we're used to. They asked for help, and somehow I got volunteered. They told us to show up at 5:30 on Monday evening. We did. And they put me in charge of a group of 35 4th and 5th graders.

Yeah; 4th and 5th graders. Me. Thirty-five of them. I'm not really a kid guy. So when I showed up, and thy told me that was my assignment, I had to sit down and put my head between my knees.

As it turned out, I'm pretty good at corralling a gaggle of nine and ten year-olds. They can be extremely tiring, but I have to say, it's been rewarding.

Shawna had five and six year olds. The age span for the VBS was Kindergarten through sixth grade, so all together there were probably about 250-300 students. It was a daunting site, walking into the gym to such a massive crowd of children. In fact it scared me.

I've never really worked with kids before, but my expectation was that VBS was just overrated day care, and that my job would be nothing more than glorified babysitting.

It's a humbling experience to underestimate someone. And I was humbled this week. To realize that these kids have far more depth than we ascribe to them, than we give them credit for. The program was called "God's Big Backyard", and the theme for the week was "Serving". We talked about serving family and friends, about serving neighbors and the community, and about serving God BY serving others. We had prayer each night as part of our service to others. And my heart broke to hear a young boy ask for prayer for his parents who weren't doing well. And another girl asked for prayer for a friend at school who had a bad sickness. And, when we talked about the "rocky road" of life, one girl talked about her mom who was in the middle of a rocky patch because she's almost broke.

And a boy who, when the entire VBS group had their eyes closed telling God that they wanted to serve Him, walked over to his Dad and stood next to him, head down, praying with him and weeping silently.

They made food baskets for needy families. Washed the cars of elders in the church. Performed good deeds for family members. Became true servants--willing servants--and in doing so, served God.

Amazing kids.

Kids who really get it, who know what's it all about. I'm glad I had the opportunity to spend the week with a group of kids who are far deeper than you'd guess at first blush, who taught me as much about being a Christian in that week as I've learned in entire years.